- [about to be dissected by the apes. One pulls out a banana]
- Timmy: What are you gonna do? Smush that on my head?
- [the banana is really a drill]
- [about being fairy godmother to the monkey, Bippy]
- Wanda: I don't know what's worse, the butt scratching or the scintillating conversation.
- Denzel Crocker: You know what this bow down needs? SHRIMP PUFFS.
- [shrimp puffs fall from the sky]
- Townspeople: AH. SHRIMP PUFFS.
- [Timmy, disguised, threatens Crocker]
- Denzel Crocker: Hmm. What could an evil ruler say in a time like this?
- Wanda: [captured] I'm gonna let the fairy go?
- Denzel Crocker: NO. But good try, though. I respect that. He'd say SILENCE.
- Mom: Maybe Timmy's right. Maybe we do fudge the truth too much.
- Dad: Now honey, I'm sure Timmy's overreacting. Let's just pop in the tape and see how long it takes to catch ourselves in a little white lie.
- Mom: You're right. I'll bet there's not a single lie on any of these tapes.
- [Scene of older footage of the Turner family on videotape]
- Mom, Dad: The stork.
- Dad: Wow. That was quick.
- Wanda: When are you going to let me out?
- Denzel Crocker: What's today?
- Wanda: Tuesday.
- Denzel Crocker: Wednesday, Thursday... NEVER!
- Timmy: How hard can it be to find one stinkin' muffin?
- [party erupts in school cafetria for "Muffin Monday"]
- Muffin Man: Oh boy. IT'S MUFFIN MONDAY.
- A.J.: I thought it was monkey Monday.
- Chester McBadbat: [angry] Aw, man!
- [pulls out muffler]
- Chester McBadbat: What am I supposed to do with THIS THING?
- [a girl finds a boy with fairy godparents]
- Flashback Girl: Hey, are those fairy godparents?
- Flashback Boy: They sure are.
- [Godparents vanish forever because it's a rule]
- Flashback Girl: Loser.
- [while the world is being ruled by apes]
- Cosmo: [sings] I love the species that throws their own feces.
- [Timmy and Crocker are fighting in a sub-atomic universe]
- Timmy: You always were a lousy teacher, Crocker. But I did learn something from science class, and that is what happens when you split an atom.
- [Timmy fires one of cupid's arrows, but...]
- Denzel Crocker: HA-HAAA! You MISSED!
- Timmy: [smugly] Wasn't aiming at ya.
- Principal Waxelplax: Crocker! What's the meaning of this fork in my fanny?
- Denzel Crocker: Uh... It's Cupid's fork... Of love... I LOVE YOU!
- Principal Waxelplax: Well, this is so sudden... and unwanted.
- Jorgen von Strangle: [after being cleared of memory] What was I going to do next?
- Cosmo: Uhhh... Scramble the fairies?
- Jorgen von Strangle: YES! I like to scramble the fairies!
- Cosmo: He either said 'Make humans the dominant species on Earth again', or he just wanted a banana. I dunno, I could be paraphrasing.