Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

Joel David Moore: Owen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Casino Worker : [a casino worker and a security guard wheels out a huge treasue chest]  Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.

  Peter La Fleur : Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.

  White Goodman : [curious with anger]  Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?

  Peter La Fleur : Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?

  Owen : $50,000?

  Kate Veatch : $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?

  Peter La Fleur : [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash]  Surprise!

• Dwight : We're still missing the teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate.

  Owen : Who's Steve the Pirate?

  Dwight : The only guy on our team that dresses like a pirate!

  Owen : Wait, there's a guy on our team who dresses like a pirate?

• Fran : You are the one that stares at me. Why is this?

  Owen : [even though Fran is a tough, scary, Slavic woman]  Because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

• Owen : [after Patches O'Houlihan has been killed]  Look on the bright side, at least we've still got Peter!

  Dwight : Yeah, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer's"! Without Patches, we're going to get our taints handed to us, that's what!

  Justin : [Whispers to Gordon]  What's a taint?

  Gordon : I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!

• Justin : How many teams are in this qualifier?

  Gordon : Uh, two.

  Justin : So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the Vegas Open, right?

  Gordon : Yeah!

  Owen : That seems pretty simple.

  Dwight : Who's the other team?

  Gordon : Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417.

  Steve the Pirate : Christ! We're playin' Boy Scouts!

  Peter La Fleur : Not quite!

  [Troop 417 are tough-looking Girl Scouts; one spits on the ground] 

  Steve the Pirate : BOLLOCKS!

• Owen : [after Patches got smashed with sign]  Well... it's probably the way he wanted to go...

  Dwight : ...What?

• Owen : I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna have a bathroom... go to the drink... in the bathroom.

  Dwight : Whatever you do, wash your hands.

• [before the championship game] 

  Peter La Fleur : Okay guys, let's play smart. Wait for your two-on-ones, cover closely for your pickups. What's our team motto?

  Owen : Aim low?

  Peter La Fleur : That's right. All I'm asking is that you give it your best for Patches. I say we go out there, we let it all hang loose, try to have some fun. I mean, it's only dodgeball, right?

  [Everyone laughs] 

  Peter La Fleur : Put 'em in.

  [Hands in] 

  Peter La Fleur : One, two, three...

  Peter La Fleur , Owen , Justin , Kate Veatch , Dwight , Gordon : JOE'S!

• Peter La Fleur : There's someone out there for everybody.

  Owen : You think?

  Peter La Fleur : Absolutely. In some cases, there's two somebodies for one person. I like to call that "the jackpot".