The Weather Man (2005)
Michael Caine: Robert Spritzel
Photos
Quotes
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Dave Spritz : We both just think it's better for the kids.
Robert Spritzel : David, sacrifice is... to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.
Dave Spritz : I know that dad, but I think that if we continue down this road, it's gonna be too detrimental for the kids. It's just too hard.
Robert Spritzel : Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.
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Robert Spritzel : This shit life... we must chuck some things. We must chuck them... in this shit life. There's always looking after.
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Robert Spritzel : I read your book.
Dave Spritz : Fuck. I was gonna do, some more work on it, then I chucked it.
Robert Spritzel : You chucked it?
Dave Spritz : Garbage.
Robert Spritzel : I-it's just what I do, David, I've practiced and I've gotten good. Like you and the weather business.
Dave Spritz : But I don't predict it. Nobody does, 'cause i-it's just wind. It's wind. It blows all over the place! What the fuck!
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Dave Spritz : Why are you here, anyway?
Robert Spritzel : I came to talk to Noreen about an issue concerning Shelly.
Dave Spritz : Well, you can talk to me. I'm her parent, too. So? What?
Robert Spritzel : Shelly dresses in clothing not appropriate for her... clinging stuff.
Dave Spritz : All kids wear... Dad, it's a different generation.
Robert Spritzel : They call her camel toe.
Dave Spritz : What?
Robert Spritzel : Are you aware of that?
Dave Spritz : What?
Robert Spritzel : That her colleagues call her camel toe.
Dave Spritz : What are you talking about?
Robert Spritzel : It means the crease in her vagina that they can discern through her clothing.
Dave Spritz : What?
Robert Spritzel : Camel toe.
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Russ : Dave, step back right now.
Dave Spritz : Fuck you right now.
Russ : Fuck you, Spritz.
Dave Spritz : Fuck you, fat asshole! Dildo!
Robert Spritzel : David, what are you doing?
Dave Spritz : I'm talking to my wife! I'm talking to Noreen, and this clown whose business this isn't.
Russ : You call me a dildo, it is my business, Spritz.
Dave Spritz : You *are* a dildo, pork fuck. You porker!
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Robert Spritzel : What happened to you?
Dave Spritz : I got hit with a Frosty.
Robert Spritzel : Why did you get hit with a Frosty?
Robert Spritzel : What is a Frosty?
Dave Spritz : It's a shake. From Wendy's.
Robert Spritzel : Why did you get hit with a shake?
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Robert Spritz : What is this sucking and chucking and jacking of fucking up, son? He's fifteen years old! What is this shit?
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Robert Spritzel : Where's the paper, David?
Dave Spritz : I didn't have enough money.
Robert Spritzel : You bought a coffee...
Dave Spritz : [mishearing] What?
Robert Spritzel : You bought a coffee.
Dave Spritz : Yeah, that, and then I didn't have enough money after.
Robert Spritzel : What?
Dave Spritz : I didn't have enough money after I bought the coffee, so...
Robert Spritzel : [slightly annoyed] You should carry more than a dollar, David. You're a grown man!
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Robert Spritzel : [Robert Spritz drives up] Weatherman!
[Dave prepares to be hit with food]
Dave Spritz : [Dave gets in his father's car] Hey.
Robert Spritzel : Hi.
Dave Spritz : Are you all right?
Robert Spritzel : Yeah. Umm, I just wanted you to...
Dave Spritz : What?
[Robert Spritz begins playing Bob Seger's "Like a Rock"]
Robert Spritzel : I don't really get it. Am I following it?
Dave Spritz : It was just a lead up to other things I wanted to say. Here's the part.
["... And I held firm to what I felt was right like a rock..."]
Dave Spritz : I wanted to talk about that part... about you. That's like you.
[pauses]
Dave Spritz : I got the job.
Robert Spritzel : New York?
[Dave Spritz nods his head yes]
Robert Spritzel : That's terrific. That's a remarkable income. That's more money than I ever made, that salary.
Dave Spritz : Yeah.
Robert Spritzel : That's quite an American accomplishment.
Dave Spritz : Thanks.
Robert Spritzel : Are you okay?
Dave Spritz : I can't knuckle down. Noreen's marrying Russ.
Dave Spritz : There's nothing to knuckle down on, so... I can't fucking knuckle down.
Robert Spritzel : Your hand...
Dave Spritz : I just saw Mike's counselor.
Robert Spritzel : Mike mentioned that you were gonna fix this business up. He's in no trouble?
[Dave shakes his head no]
Robert Spritzel : Good job. Your hand okay?
Dave Spritz : It's okay.
Robert Spritzel : You certain?
Dave Spritz : Don't worry.
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Lauren : How's Shelly?
Dave Spritz : She's doing great.
Lauren : Little angel!
Dave Spritz : Yeah, she doing great...
Robert Spritzel : [comes downstairs] Who's an angel?
Lauren : Shelly...
Robert Spritzel : Shelly is grossly overweight and unhappy. I'm concerned about her, as I am Michael. David?
Dave Spritz : Yeah, Dad...
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Robert Spritzel : Dildos and more fucking?
