Memorable quotes for
The Devil's Rejects (2005)

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Captain J.T. Spaulding: If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make you my bitch!

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Baby: Chinese, Japanese, Dirty knees, look at these!
[shows her breasts]

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Candy: What you lookin' at?
Otis B. Driftwood: I'm lookin' at you, mama.
Candy: Yeah, you see something you like?
Otis B. Driftwood: Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed.

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Adam Banjo: Please, mister. This is insane.
Otis B. Driftwood: Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.

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Billy Ray Snapper: Is the shit on?
Rondo: The shit is on.

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Adam Banjo: Please... Stop...
Otis B. Driftwood: Stop? Bitch, I have just started.

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Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.
Roy Sullivan: Would you say that again?
Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.
[mutual laughter]
Roy Sullivan: Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?
Baby: Trust me, fella. That ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.

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Captain J.T. Spaulding: I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle.
[mutual laughter]
Susan: What's that about clown business?
[laughs nervously]
Captain J.T. Spaulding: [pause] Do I stutter, bitch?

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Otis B. Driftwood: There is no fuckin' ice cream in your fuckin' future.

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Baby: Just in case anyone's interested, I think I'm gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles.
Otis: [in a mocking tone] "I think I'm gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles."
Baby: Don't you fucking imitate me, it's fucking rude!
[mocking]
Baby: "I know what I know and I know I don't like that nut sack...”
Otis: Fuck you.
Baby: Fuck you!
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Two fucking seconds for the kid, is that gonna kill you?
Otis: Yes, it is going to kill me! I have calculated the time, and two seconds is the exact amount of time that is a hazard to my fucking health.
Baby: What the fuck is your problem? I'm in and out in two seconds!
Captain J.T. Spaulding: You know? I think I'm gonna get me some tutti fucking fruity.
Baby: Tutti fucking fruity, that sounds good!

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Otis: I know what I know and I know I don't like that nut sack.

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Baby, Captain J.T. Spaulding: Tutti Fuckin Fruity!

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Sheriff John Wydell: I'm going to kill you and drink your fucking blood!

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Otis B. Driftwood: [to Wendy, mocking her that he killed her husband and Roy] We regret to inform you that the show "Banjo and Sullivan" will be cancelled tonight.

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Sheriff John Wydell: Here's the list of names I need you to run down for me.
[hands Rondo the list]
Rondo: [laughs] That's a funny-ass name.
Sheriff John Wydell: Yeah, look who's fucking talking, *Rondo*. Just tell me if anything connects.
Billy Ray Snapper: I'm sure it will. Shit always floats our way, don't it? Chief.
Sheriff John Wydell: You keep your mouth open wide enough maybe you'd catch it all. Don't fuck this up assholes.
Rondo: Have fun scraping all them brains up off the road.

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Roy Sullivan: Rodeo-
[laughs]
Roy Sullivan: Your smoking dope.
Jimmy: Yeah- I mean no- not right now.

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Officer Ray Dobson: You recognize the clown?
Sheriff John Wydell: Spaulding. Captain fucking Spaulding.

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Sheriff John Wydell: [stuttering] I'm, I'm walking the line on this brother. I'm, I'm walking line.
George Wydell: [sarcastically] Well, mother pin a rose on me, that is so great!
George Wydell: [acts serious]
George Wydell: I want these motherfuckers dead! Kill 'em!

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Captain J.T. Spaulding: What's the matter, kid? Don't ya like clowns?
Jamie: [shakes head crying]
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fucking family.
Jamie: [continues crying]
Captain J.T. Spaulding: All right, now get your fuckin' ass out the car, go on yayayayayaya
[starts laughing]

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Baby: I love famous people! They're even better than the real thing, ya know?

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Otis: Consider me fuckin' Willy fuckin' Wonka! This is my fucking chocolate factory! You got it? My factory!

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Captain J.T. Spaulding: ...And you remember happy boy.
Charlie Altamont: Hey You still an asshole?
Otis B. Driftwood: [gives Charlie the finger]

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Sheriff John Wydell: Fuck Groucho!

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Captain J.T. Spaulding: We ain't goin' nowhere, Bitch!

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Fanny: What? Are you calling me a whore?
Captain Spaulding: I calls 'em like I sees 'em!

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Otis B. Driftwood: I was going to take it easy on you and make it fast, but then you had to go and play the fucking hero!

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Otis B. Driftwood: Hurry up and don't take too fucking long.
Baby: Fuck you!
Otis B. Driftwood: Fuck you!
Baby: Fuck you!

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Otis B. Driftwood: I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.

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Charlie Altamont: [to Candy] You've got to hustle that pussy, baby. Find a new angle and you might attract a higher clientele.

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Clevon: Did you hear what he called me, Boss? I ain't no chicken fucker!

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Roy Sullivan: You spend one second in that pen, and that bull will have his horn up your ass and sticking out your pecker.

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[looking at Wendy's mutilated body after it's run over by a truck]
Sheriff Ken Dwyer: Jesus Christ, what a fucking mess. There must be 100 yards of bloody asphalt and corpse chunks.

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[to Mother Firefly]
Sheriff John Wydell: I'm going to kill every member of your family. They're going to feel the pain and suffering of every last victim!

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Sheriff John Wydell: Only choice you got is to cooperate and tell me where they are.
Mother Firefly: [shouts] You just found yourself into something you ain't never gettin' out of!

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Otis B. Driftwood: Gimme some sugar, bitch. Make it sweet.

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Mother Firefly: I keep thinking about old times. Like when you was a fucking baby.

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Darrell: Now ya'll ain't planning on fuckin' these chickens are ya?
Charlie Altamont: What the fuck are you getting at? Do you fuck chickens?
Darrell: Well, I thought about fuckin' some chickens before? If you want to have a good time and you need some pussy? You just can cut that chicken's head off, stick your dick in the ass of that chicken, and that damn chicken'll go crazy on your ass and go "Caaaaah".
Charlie Altamont: ...You're saying I would cut off a chicken's head? Stick my dick in it? Fuck it... .And go "Aah"? You accuse me of fucking a chicken, motherfucker?
Darrell: I'm not callin' you a chicken fucker but that boy over there looks sexually frustrated, and I don't approve of chicken fucking.

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Baby: Shoot me! Shoot me right in the ass!

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Baby: [in the motel room] So what do you wanna do?
[Gloria shakes head]
Wendy Banjo: Help!
[screams from a window in the bathroom]
Baby: I knew that fucking cunt would do something stupid! Shut up! Open the fucking door! Open the goddamn door!
Gloria Sullivan: [pulls a gun on Baby] Hold it!
Wendy Banjo: [continues screaming after breaking the window] Somebody help me!
Baby: [back to motel room] What are you gonna do? Shoot me? What did I ever really do to you?
[holding a knife behind her back]
Gloria Sullivan: I swear I'll do it! I'll kill you!
Baby: Why would you wanna kill me? I'm your only hope. My brother's fucking crazy, you've seen him.
Gloria Sullivan: [Yells to Wendy from the room] Wendy it's all right! Come on out!
[Baby plunges the knife into Gloria's chest]
Gloria Sullivan: [Gloria drops to her knees and pulls the knife out from her chest]
Baby: [pulls down jeans and shows her rear] Go ahead, shoot me. Shoot me right on the ass!
[Gloria pulls the trigger, but the gun is empty]
Baby: Stupid cunt. There ain't no bullets in this thing. It's all fucking mind power.

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Sheriff John Wydell: From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. Hallelujah! Are you feeling it brother?

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Marty Walker: That goddamn fucking Elvis Presley
Sheriff John Wydell: What did you say about the King?
Marty Walker: I said he died three days before Grouch...
[Wydell grabs Walker]
Sheriff John Wydell: Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you

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Otis B. Driftwood: I think I can still smell your wife's pussy stink on my gun... hope it doesn't rust the barrel.

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Captain J.T. Spaulding: Where the hell you goin'? Damn it. Don't you NEVER turn your back on a fuckin' clown when he's talkin' to you!

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Mother Firefly: I feel contrite about blowin' his brains out.

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Officer Ray Dobson: So, you think we're gonna die here today?
Sheriff John Wydell: Dying is not an option. Now you stick that back in that gray matter of yours and you make that stick. Cause any other thought is gonna get you cold slab, toe tag and mailed home to your mamma in a plastic bag. Are we crystal?
Officer Ray Dobson: Crystal, Sir!
Sheriff John Wydell: Gentlemen, let's do what God made us to do!

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Otis B. Driftwood: You had to come all fuckin' big stick, walkin' tall, like a big fuckin' hero. Got yourself to blame, hero. Look at you now, hero, you're gonna fuckin' bleed to death!

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Baby: Meow meow, here pussycat.

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Baby: Well Roy Sullivan, you gonna take me back to your room and play with me?
Roy Sullivan: My wife's in that room.
Baby: Or is my brother going to have to shoot your fuckin' teeth outta your head?

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Baby: God dammit look at that jacket.
Otis B. Driftwood: What?
Baby: On TV.
Otis B. Driftwood: What? Fuck the TV!
Baby: Fuck the TV? Fuck you!
Otis B. Driftwood: Hey fuck you! Will you just keep your head in the business at hand here!

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Otis B. Driftwood: Are you staring at my sister and thinking bad thoughts?
Roy Sullivan: No.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well why not? You a faggot?
Roy Sullivan: No.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well what are you? I mean, you got this hot piece of ass shaking her shit right in front of you and your'e not getting any ideas? What do you call that?

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Baby: Woo hoo! I feel like we're all really getting to know each other now!

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Sheriff John Wydell: I'll bet them old farm boys love you.
Mother Firefly: Everyone loves me. Don't you pretend you don't fancy me.
Sheriff John Wydell: Why yes maa'm I find you quite irresistible.

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Otis B. Driftwood: Does she like it when you puke? I mean is that part of your deal?

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Adam Banjo: Where are you taking us?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well I guess it wouldn't do no harm to tell you none, let's see ah, we're going to go dig up some guns I buried out here a couple of years ago.
Roy Sullivan: Then what?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well there ain't no what, that's the end of the road.
Roy Sullivan: What?... your'e not gonna kill us are ya?
Otis B. Driftwood: Killing sounds so permanent.

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Otis B. Driftwood: That's what they all say "Fuck you", well it ain't gonna save you. It don't scare me none and it don't suddenly make you a fucking hero.

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Otis B. Driftwood: I want you to pray to your god. I want you to pray that he comes and saves you. I want lightning to come and crash down upon my fucking head!
Roy Sullivan: I will pray... Jesus...
Otis B. Driftwood: Louder!
Roy Sullivan: Bless the bunnies, bless the little birds, bless the...
Otis B. Driftwood: I don't feel anything!
Roy Sullivan: Bless the springtime morning...
Otis B. Driftwood: ooo aaah I feel it! Oh great god almighty I repent, I repent! Oh I feel the love of the god, god, god almighty! Oh the holy spirit is in my body.

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Baby: You could go piss yourself for all I care. If you want special favours you gotta give me something in return.

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Baby: You better make this next one FUCKING count!

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Sheriff John Wydell: [walks into a room where the "rejects" are tied to the chairs] You know I got to thank you all... *sniffs*... for helping me understand what my heritage is. You see the Wydells, they always been vigilante justice. Now my grand-daddy, he rode with the likes of Tom Horn killin' scum like you for a livin'. We've always been devil slayers
[kicks Otis]
Sheriff John Wydell: WAKE UP! See, I tried to walk the line but now I realize there is no line. Now we here, we are playin' on a level that most will never see. I know my brother George he didn't see it.
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Maybe he had a divine moment when his brains hit the floor.
Sheriff John Wydell: Yeah well, maybe you will too.

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[Wydell prepares to chase Baby with an ax]
Sheriff John Wydell: RABBIT!

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[Wydell shoots Baby in the leg]
Sheriff John Wydell: Oh man! I could hear that bone shatter all the way from here!

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Otis B. Driftwood: I want you to see what happens to heroes...

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