Wedding Crashers (2005)

Dwight Yoakam: Mr. Kroeger

Quotes 

• John Beckwith : That brings us to the question of frequent flyer miles.

  Mrs. Kroeger : I want them.

  John Beckwith : Know what we're gonna do? We're gonna split them right down the middle. How would that be, Mr Kroeger?

  Mr. Kroeger : It would be not good at all. I earned those miles.

  Mrs. Kroeger : Yeah, you earned them flying to Denver to meet your whore.

  Mr. Kroeger : She's not afraid to express herself sexually if that's what you mean.

  Mrs. Kroeger : She's a stripper, for God's sake.

  Mr. Kroeger : She is not.

  Mrs. Kroeger : Her name is Chastity. She is white trash, same as you. Hillbilly!

• [Mr Kroeger's wife opens up a bottle of pills] 

  Mr. Kroeger : That's it! Go comatose for me, baby.

• [first lines] 

  Mr. Kroeger : I don't have custody of the kids.

  Mrs. Kroeger : You know what?

  Mr. Kroeger : I don't get custody.

  Mrs. Kroeger : It is an insane pathetic joke, what I've had to go through.

  Mr. Kroeger : Right now, right now, she doesn't know where the kids are, do you?

  Mrs. Kroeger : Do not talk about me as a mother.

• Mrs. Kroeger : He can have the miles.

  Mr. Kroeger : Nah, sweetie. You take the miles.