Memorable quotes for
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

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[from trailer]
Sweeney Todd: I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know.

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[from trailer]
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [to Sweeney] May the good Lord smile on you.

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[from trailer]
Judge Turpin: [as he sentences boy prisoner] May the Lord have mercy on your soul.

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Sweeney Todd: [holding up one of his razors] At last! My arm is complete again!

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[from trailer]
Narrator: This is the tale of an ordinary man, who had everything...
Mrs. Lovett: Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
Narrator: Until a man of power stole his freedom, destroyed his family and banished him... for life. And in his sorrow a new man was born.

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[singing]
Sweeney Todd: Alright! You, sir? How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! You sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave... I will have vengeance. I will have salvation... Who, sir? You sir!No one's in the chair. Come on, come on! Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders. You sir? Anybody? Gentlemen, now don't be shy. Not one man... No, nor ten men... Nor a hundred can assuage me. I will have you! And I will get him back even as he gloats; In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats... And my Lucy lies in ashes, and I'll never see my girl again. But the work waits! I'm alive at last, and I'm full of joy!

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Sweeney Todd: Noooooo! Would no one have mercy on her?
Mrs. Lovett: So it's you. Benjamin Barker
Sweeney Todd: Where's Lucy? Where's my wife?
Mrs. Lovett: She poisoned herself, arsenic from the apothecary round the corner, I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me, and he's got your daughter.
Sweeney Todd: He? Judge Turpin?
Mrs. Lovett: [nods]
Sweeney Todd: 15 years sweating, and living hell, for a false charge. 15 years dreaming I might come home to a wife and child.
Mrs. Lovett: Well, I can't say the years have been particularly kind to you, Mr. Barker.
Sweeney Todd: No, not Barker. That man is dead. It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd... and he will have his revenge.

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[from trailer]
Sweeney Todd: How about a shave?

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[from trailer]
Sweeney Todd: Where is Lucy? Where is my wife?
Mrs. Lovett: She poisoned herself. Arsenic from the apothecary around the corner... and he's got your daughter.
Sweeney Todd: He? Judge Turpin?

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Sweeney Todd: [sung] They all deserve to die. Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why! Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two. There's the one staying put in his proper place and one with his foot in the other one's face. Look at me, Mrs Lovett! Look at you! No, we all deserve to die... Even you, Mrs Lovett, even I! Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief. For the rest of us death will be a relief. We all deserve to die... And I'll never see Johanna, no I'll never hug my girl to me... FINISHED!

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Sweeney Todd: [sung to his razor] There there, my friend... /Come, let me hold you...
Mrs. Lovett: [sung] I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd... /If you only knew, Mr Todd...

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Mrs. Lovett: That lad is drinking me out o' house an' home.

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Judge Turpin: Oh yes... such practices. The Geishas of Japan, the concubines of Siam, the catamites of Greece, the harlots of India. I have them all here, drawings of them. Everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a woman. Would you like to see?
Anthony Hope: I think there's been some mistake.
Judge Turpin: I think not. You gandered at my ward, Johanna. You gandered at her. YES, sir, you gandered!
Anthony Hope: I meant no harm.
Judge Turpin: Your meaning is immaterial. Mark me! If I see your face again on this street, you'll rue the day you were born.

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Mrs. Lovett: Mr. T, you didn't!
[looks into the chest, sees Pirelli's dead body and gasps. Shuts it]
Mrs. Lovett: You're barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm!
Sweeney Todd: [polishing his razor] He recognized me from the old days. Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings.
Mrs. Lovett: [relieved] Oh, well that's a different matter then. For a moment there I thought you lost your marbles.
[opens the chest again and stares]
Mrs. Lovett: Ugh! All that blood. Poor bugger. Oh well!
[looks through Pirelli's jacket before removing his money pouch and examining its contents]
Mrs. Lovett: Well, waste not, want not!
[tucks it into her bodice]

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[from trailer]
Anthony Hope: [comes rushing in looking for Sweeney only to see Mrs.Lovett] Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me...
Mrs. Lovett: Mrs.Lovett, son.
Anthony Hope: A pleasure, ma'am.
[he finally see's Sweeney]
Anthony Hope: [really quickly] Mr.Todd, there's a girl who needs my help. Such a sad girl, and lonely but beautiful to and...
Sweeney Todd: [he leads Antony to a chair] Slow down, son.
Anthony Hope: [sits down] Yes, I'm sorry. This girl has a guardian who keeps her locked away, but then this morning she dropped this
[holds up a key]
Anthony Hope: surely a sign that Johanna wants me to help her. That's her name, Johanna, and Turpin is her guardian. He's a judge of some sort. Once he goes to court, I'm going to skip into the house, release her, and beg her to come away with me tonight!
Mrs. Lovett: Oh, this is very romantic.
Anthony Hope: [he turns to Mrs.Lovett] Yes.
[he turns back to Todd]
Anthony Hope: But I don't know anyone in London, you see, and I need somewhere safe to bring her until I've hired a coach to take us away. If I could keep her just for an hour or two, I'd be forever in your debt.
Mrs. Lovett: Bring her 'ere, love.
Anthony Hope: [to Mrs.Lovett] Thank you, ma'am.
Anthony Hope: [to Todd]
Anthony Hope: Mr.Todd...?
Sweeney Todd: [Sweeney can only nod in agreement]

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Beggar Woman: [to Sweeney] 'ey, don't I know you, mister?

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Judge Turpin: You're in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd.

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Johanna: I've never had dreams, only nightmares.

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Sweeney Todd: [to Mrs. Lovett while looking at his razor] The Judge! When will we get to him?

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Sweeney Todd: [spoken under his breath] There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled of shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it...

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[Judge Turpin has escaped from the barbershop thanks to Anthony's blundering]
Anthony Hope: Mr. Todd... you have to help me!
Sweeney Todd: [angry] Get out.
Anthony Hope: [persistent] Mr. Todd, please, I...
Sweeney Todd: [yells] Get out!
[Anthony leaves the barbershop in desperation]
Mrs. Lovett: [arriving] What's all this fuss about?
Sweeney Todd: [sings] I had him! I had him!
Mrs. Lovett: Mr. T, what's wrong?
Sweeney Todd: [continues] His throat was bare beneath my hands!
Mrs. Lovett: Wait, Mr. T., I...
Sweeney Todd: [shouts] No, I had him! / His throat was there, / And he'll never come again!
Mrs. Lovett: [sings to calm him] Easy now. Hush, love, hush. / I keep telling you, what's your rush?
Sweeney Todd: [shouts] When? / Why did I wait? / You told me to wait! / Now he'll never come again.
[he goes toward the window and looks at it]
Sweeney Todd: There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And it's filled with people who are filled with shit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / But not for loooong!
[he gives an evil-eye look at her]

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Anthony Hope: Is everything alright Mister Todd?
Sweeney Todd: My mind is far from easy, in these once familiar streets I feel shadows... everywhere...
Anthony Hope: Shadows?
Sweeney Todd: ...Ghosts.

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Sweeney Todd: And who may it be said is your intended, sir?
Judge Turpin: My ward... and pretty as a rosebud.
Sweeney Todd: Pretty as her mother?
Judge Turpin: [confused] Wha... what was that?
Sweeney Todd: Nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed?

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Sweeney Todd: And I will get him back even as he gloats in the mean time I'll practice on less honorable throats, and my Lucy lies in ashes and I'll never see my girl again!

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Signor Adolfo Pirelli: Mr.Todd?
Sweeney Todd: Signor Pirelli.
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [reverting to a Cockney accent] Call me Davy. Davy Connor's the name when it isn't professional.

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Sweeney Todd: The history of the world, my pet...
Mrs. Lovett: Oh, Mr. Todd! Ooh, Mr. Todd! Leave it to me!
Sweeney Todd: Is learn forgiveness and try to forget!
Mrs. Lovett: By the sea, Mr. Todd we'll be comfy-cozy / By the sea, Mr. Todd, where there's no one nosy!
Sweeney Todd: And life is for the alive, my dear / So let's keep living it.
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: Just keep living it! Really living it - !

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Judge Turpin: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit.
Sweeney Todd: With fellow tastes... in women at least.
Judge Turpin: [unsettled] What's that?
Sweeney Todd: The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then I suppose the face of a barber, the face of a prisoner in the dock, is not particularly memorable.
Judge Turpin: [with immense shock] Benjamin... Barker...
Sweeney Todd: [shouts] Benjamin Barker!

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Mrs. Lovett: Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
Sweeney Todd: What was his crime?
Mrs. Lovett: Foolishness.

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Sweeney Todd: You have a room over the shop, don't you? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out?
Mrs. Lovett: People think it's haunted.
Sweeney Todd: Haunted?
Mrs. Lovett: Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong? You see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.

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Johanna: [after Turpin discovers her packing] Sir, a gentleman knocks before entering a ladies room.
Judge Turpin: Indeed, that's true, but I see no lady.

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Johanna: If I cannot fly, let me sing...

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Mrs. Lovett: [placing a small pie on the counter] Here we are. Hot out of the oven.
Sweeney Todd: What is THAT?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] It's priest. Have a little priest...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh... so it's pretty fresh.

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Sweeney Todd: [singing about razors] These are my friends. See how they glisten.

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Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [singing] I am Aldofo Pirelli, the king of the barbers, the barber of kings that learn no good day. I blow you a kiss! And I, the so famous Pirelli, wish-a to know who have-a the nerve-a to say my Elixir is piss. Who says this?
Sweeney Todd: I do. I'm Mr. Sweeney Todd from Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir and I say to you, it is nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted from piss and ink. Furthermore, Signor, I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank.

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Beggar Woman: [singing about Todd and Mrs. Lovett's incinerator] Smoke! Smoke! Sign of the devil! Sign of the devil! City on fire!

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Sweeney Todd: [singing] For what's the sound of the world out there?
Mrs. Lovett: What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?
Sweeney Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Mrs. Lovett: Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! It's all around!
Sweeney Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear!
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: And/Then who are we to deny it in here?

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Sweeney Todd: What can I do for you today sir? Stylish trimming of the hair? Soothing skin massage. Sit sir. Sit.
Judge Turpin: [singing] You see sir a man infatuated with love. Her ardent and eager slave. So fetch the pomade and pumice stone and lend me a more seductive tone a sprinkling perhaps of French cologne but first sir I think... a shave.
Sweeney Todd: The closest I ever gave.

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Sweeney Todd: [singing] Have charity towards the world, my pet.
Mrs. Lovett: Yes, yes, I know, my love.
Sweeney Todd: We'll take the customers that we can get.
Mrs. Lovett: High-born and low, my love.
Sweeney Todd: We'll not discriminate great from small. / No, we'll serve anyone...
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: Meaning/We'll serve anyone, / And to anyone at all!

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Sweeney Todd: [ominously] These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett and desperate measures are called for...

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Mrs. Lovett: We could have a life we two, maybe not like you remember. Maybe not like I imagined. But we could get by.

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Mrs. Lovett: [singing] When you get it, if you get it.
Sweeney Todd: Ahh...
Mrs. Lovett: [singing] Good ya got it.

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[first lines]
Anthony Hope: I have sailed the world, beheld its wonders, from the Dardanelles to the mountains of Peru. But there's no place like London.
Sweeney Todd: No, there's no place like London.
Anthony Hope: [spoken] Mr. Todd?
Sweeney Todd: You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn.

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[last lines]
Sweeney Todd: There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful. A foolish barber and his wife. She was his reason and his life, and she was beautiful. And she was virtuous. And he was...

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[Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett buy what appears to be Pirelli's Miracle Elixir]
Sweeney Todd: [opens the lid] What is this?
Mrs. Lovett: What is this?
Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss.
Mrs. Lovett: [sniffs] Smells like, eww!
Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss.
Mrs. Lovett: What is this?
Sweeney Todd: This is piss. / Piss with ink.

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Sweeney Todd: [sings] The history of the world, my love...
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favors.
Sweeney Todd: Is those below will serve those up above.
Mrs. Lovett: Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors.
Sweeney Todd: How gratifying for once to know...
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: That those above will serve those down below!

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Sweeney Todd: There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit, / And it goes by the name of London.

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Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop, / Does a business, but I noticed something weird: / Lately all her neighbor's cats have disappeared. / Have to hand it to her, / What I calls / Enterprise / Popping pussies into pies. / Wouldn't do in my shop; / Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick. / And I'm telling you, them pussycats is quick.

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Sweeney Todd: "Don't I know you?" she said. You knew she lived!
Mrs. Lovett: I was only thinking of you!
Sweeney Todd: [angry] You lied to me!
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] No, no, not lied at all! / No, I never lied!
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: Said she took the poison, she did, / Never said that she died. / Poor thing, she lived...
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] I've come home again...
Mrs. Lovett: But it left her weak in the head, / All she did for months was just lie there in bed...
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: Should've been in hospital, / Wound up in Bedlam instead, / Poor thing!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Oh, my God...!
Mrs. Lovett: Better you should think she was dead. / Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy!
Mrs. Lovett: I'd be twice the wife she was!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What have I done?
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] I love you! Could that *thing* have cared for you like me?
[he turns toward Mrs. Lovett in anger]
Sweeney Todd: Mrs. Lovett, / You're a bloody wonder, / Eminently practical and yet / Appropriate as always. / As you've said repeatedly, / There's little point in dwelling on the past!
Mrs. Lovett: Do you mean it?
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] Now come here, my love! / Nothing to fear, my love!
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Everything I did, / I swear, / I thought / Was only for the best!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What's dead is dead!
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Believe me! Can we still be married?

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Sweeney Todd: What is that?
Mrs. Lovett: It's fop, / Finest in the shop. / Oh, we have shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top.

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Sweeney Todd: [to Mrs. Lovett] I'll come again when you have judge on the menu.

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Anthony Hope: [Johanna is being hauled off to the asylum] Where are you taking her? Tell me or I'll...
Judge Turpin: You'll kill me, boy? Well here I stand!

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