Jack & Bobby (2004–2005)

Matt Long: Jack McCallister

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack McCallister : You're just a lonely, pathetic middle-aged woman who hides behind her words and her books and her freak of a teenage son!

  Grace McCallister : Shut up!

• Grace McCallister : Oh my god Jack, I can't believe that you didn't brief me on Bobby's need to be educated in the developmental arena!

  Jack McCallister : He's 13. How much more information do you need?

  Grace McCallister : People mature at their own rate. How was I suppose to know?

  Jack McCallister : I don't know maybe the fact that his voice is always cracking.

• Jack McCallister : [to Grace]  This is beyond your normal bad ideas, please stop.

• Bobby McCallister : Did she ever make you nervous?

  Jack McCallister : Why would missy make me nervous?

  Bobby McCallister : Not Missy. Girls, I mean.

  Jack McCallister : Not since 4th Grade. Is that about that little girlfriend of yours? Still not going to tell me who it is, huh?

  [pause] 

  Jack McCallister : OK, lay it on me.

  Bobby McCallister : Well, I was wondering. She said that I kiss like a girl.

  Jack McCallister : [laugh] 

  Bobby McCallister : It's not funny. So, what do I do?

  Jack McCallister : Learn to kiss better?

  Bobby McCallister : How?

  Jack McCallister : I don't know. Watch a movie like everybody else.

  Bobby McCallister : Which? Like "Pillow Talk"?

  Jack McCallister : God, you are do weird. Look, you got to tell Mom to knock it off with that Film Society stuff.

  Bobby McCallister : Is there anything that you can tell me?

  Jack McCallister : I'm not teaching you how to kiss, dumbass.

  Bobby McCallister : Not How to, it's not how to.

  Jack McCallister : Well, don't kiss like a girl for starters.

  Bobby McCallister : Well, what does that mean?

  Jack McCallister : You know take the initiative, be the guy. Beyond that I'd say: no biting, drooling, or anything too crazy. You think you can handle that?

  Bobby McCallister : Maybe.

• Jack McCallister : Did you buy Hot Pockets?

  Grace McCallister : The organic kind.

  Jack McCallister : The organic kind tastes like ass!

• Grace McCallister : What is so important about normal?

  Jack McCallister : Normal is what you have to be if you don't want to spend everyday of high school getting beat up.

• Jack McCallister : That was heartwarming. When's the last time you made us sandwiches?

  Grace McCallister : When's the last time you ate cat food?