Two for the Money (2005)

Jeremy Piven: Jerry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry : [on tv show]  Stats, records, rankings, weather, if the goal post is tilted just a little bit, the Sykes system uses forty two proven indexes, to eliminate the guess work in sports wagering, without my patented computer based picks, you've got a better shot of having God showing up at your door,with nine strippers a bag of pure Bolivan cocaine even viagra to make Chuck's head blow up, than picking these things on your own.

• Jerry : [on the set of Walter's television show]  I think I should lead off tonight I got some real strong stuff man

  Walter Abrams : You got a good hole, stay in it

  Jerry : Come on I went eight for twelve last week I'm hot I'm feeling it

  Walter Abrams : You have one good weekend don't get pushy

  Jerry : One good weekend? Sykes System revolutionized this industry am I wood?

  [Shows a newspaper ad about Brandon] 

  Jerry : where's my fucking ad?

  Walter Abrams : [Grabs the newspaper out of Jerry's hand and slams it down on the table]  take a hike

  Jerry : What?

  Walter Abrams : You're fired you're gone

  Jerry : I'm not fired you need me more than ever

  Walter Abrams : Get out of here you cut rate parasite

• Jerry : [Bursts into Brandon's office]  Do you think New York will win this weekend?

  Brandon Lang : [sarcastically]  A knock would be nice

  Jerry : I'm kind of underwater here, a "yes" or "no" would be great

  Brandon Lang : No I don't

  Jerry : well, If you know something or if you hear anything you've got to let me know because that's the way we work around here

  Brandon Lang : [sarcastically]  I'll rush right over, stat

  Jerry : I've been working here for six years and you've been here for one

  Walter Abrams : [Walter walks into the office, to Jerry]  what are you doing in here? Hit the phones and do some damage control rewrite that computer program of yours

  Jerry : What can I say? It was a fucked weekend

  Walter Abrams : [to Brandon]  There's a "fifty dime" bettor on line three and wants to talk to John Anthony

  Brandon Lang : What's his name?

  Walter Abrams : His name is McCall his a gazillionaire he owns a couple dozen of McDonald franchise restaurants

  Jerry : Wait a minute. I landed that lead his my guy

  Walter Abrams : "Was" your guy

  Jerry : [Referring to Brandon]  He's raiding my lists now?

  Walter Abrams : Your clients are jumping ship you lactose-intolerant fuck, get out of my sight

• Jerry : [Celebrating Brandon after he won one hundred percent for the games he predicted that weekend]  Congratulations Brandon or should I say "John"? Either way it's amazing I'm very impressed, letting salesmen make your picks? That's balls.

  Brandon Lang : You better collect some of the winnings right now because the way you're picking you're going to need some for a rainy day.

  Jerry : Enjoy it while it lasts, gambling gods, fickle bunch their so easily offended.