Checking Out (2005)

Peter Falk: Morris Applebaum

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Applebaum : Wait a minute, you're going out?

  Morris Applebaum : Yes, we do that in New York. That's why we built the rest of the city so close to the apartments.

• Morris Applebaum : He perverts Shakespeare, I'll talk to him ANY WAY I WANT!

• Dr Sheldon Henning : Morris look, with the mayor's office breathing down my neck, I gotta go by the book.

  Morris Applebaum : Well I tell ya, it's always very important to go by the book. Especially

  [laughing] 

  Morris Applebaum : if you haven't seen the movie.

• Morris Applebaum : You are normal, and you were born into a crazy family, and that makes you crazy.

• Ted Applebaum : Dad, you know your letter is a cry for help.

  Morris Applebaum : Out here 5 minutes and already a diagnosis? You gotta be careful, Ted. You start seeing a person as a cry from help, you can completely miss the entire person.

• Morris Applebaum : I know I've been to so many funerals, I can comparison shop.

• Morris Applebaum : [to gathered family]  First of all I didn't loose Riva, she died. Pain? For months I couldn't get a full breath. Like I had no lungs. It's grief. And it's most potent. But I didn't grieve because of the loss of hope. I grieved because we loved. We loved. We weren't fools. We knew somebody had to go first. But if you love, you got no choice. And it was worth it. Oh, was it worth it.

  Dan : So you have like a growth in your head or something that makes you such a whack job?

• Morris Applebaum : I was a man of intelligence - thanks God, also talent. And after all, as Shakespeare said, der gants velt iz a bine, "all the world is a stage". And on the stage of life I was an actor. And I made things happen. And I always had a script. And I always knew the end. I didn't live as an audience not knowing what was coming next. So why should I live like an actor, and die like an audience?

• Morris Applebaum : Don't try. Ants try, people do.

• [last lines] 

  Flo Applebaum : You want to be the best man, and the father of the bride? Is there any room at this wedding for me?

  Morris Applebaum : [chuckling]  We'll discuss it with Sheldon. But you know, you could park cars.

  Flo Applebaum : Oh gee, thanks.

  Morris Applebaum : Don't mention it. Also you could make egg creams.

  Flo Applebaum : I make 'em better than Jim Spa.

  Morris Applebaum : Hey, you stole my mind.

  Flo Applebaum : Yeah well, since you're going to be around you got plenty of time to steal it back.