Tristram Shandy (2005)

Rob Brydon: Capt. Toby Shandy, Rob Brydon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rob Brydon : The thing is, I can't act...

  Steve Coogan : I know that.

  Rob Brydon : ...with Gillian Anderson. I have a sexual thing for Gillian Anderson.

• Rob Brydon : [Rob shows Steve his teeth]  What do you think? Have a look at the color.

  Steve Coogan : I saw the color the last time I looked. It registered.

  Rob Brydon : It's what they call "not white." What color would you call it?

  Steve Coogan : I would, I'd concur with "not white." I'd go further.

  Rob Brydon : I mean, it's not yellow.

  Steve Coogan : I, you know, I mean, there's a sliding scale, isn't there, you know.

  Rob Brydon : Hint of yellow.

  Steve Coogan : I think you're closest to...

  Rob Brydon : Barley meadow. Tuscan sunset.

  Steve Coogan : You're getting laughs, but it's not making your teeth look any better.

• Rob Brydon : [Rob shows Steve his teeth]  What do you think? I've had them done.

  Steve Coogan : I know you have.

  Rob Brydon : What do you think? Feel that one. There's no crevice. Feel it.

  Steve Coogan : Don't ask me to feel your teeth.

  Rob Brydon : Just close your eyes and feel it.

  Steve Coogan : No. It's your fucking teeth. Christ!

  Rob Brydon : What is the matter with you? You've got such a thing about, whenever there's a hint of something gay, you immediately...

  Steve Coogan : What? This has nothing to do with "gay". I'm very cautious.

  Rob Brydon : That's what it is. You don't want to touch another man's teeth, because you're worried you might be attracted to me. Just touch my teeth.

• Dr. Slop : I can extrude the baby's head before the mother has a chance to mash its head to dough. Captain Shandy, make a baby's head of your hands. You're to imagine these sleeves are Mrs. Shandy's... funnel.

  Rob Brydon : Funnel?

  Susannah : Meat curtains.

  Rob Brydon : Meat curtains? Brother?

  Steve Coogan : My brother knows nothing of women.