- [first lines]
- Thatcher: Mr. Lam...
- Donald Lam: Yes?
- Thatcher: Remember me, Conway Thatcher? Two years ago, my partner disappeared. I was accused of murder.
- Donald Lam: Of course! Your partner was Frazier Dunlap. I found him in Bakersfield and brought him back. How's everything now?
- Thatcher: Oh, he ran off again - with my wife and all my money. Thanks for bringing him back.
- [Thatcher slugs Lam in the jaw knocking Lam against Bertha's secretary's desk]
- Elsie Brand: Are you all right, Mr. Lam?
- Donald Lam: Yeah... if you like starting your day with a punch in the jaw.
- Elsie Brand: At least this time you bounced.
- Donald Lam: Where do you think Mrs. Lintig could be?
- Dr. Lintig: I don't know. She left Oakview in 1937.
- Bertha Cool: After twenty years, who cares if she remarried?
- Dr. Lintig: I'm paying you to answer *my* questions.
- Bertha Cool: [to Donald] On your way to Oakview, lover boy. This one's a cinch. Dig up some old newspapers, ask some questions and be back tomorrow with the answers. Take along a few sandwiches, sleep in the car and it's pure profit!
- [Donald is pouring over back issues of the Oakview newspaper]
- Marion Dunton: Here you are, Mr. Lam, the 1935 file.
- Donald Lam: Thanks!
- Marion Dunton: And the '34. You'll need it.
- Donald Lam: Who says so?
- Marion Dunton: More background on the Lintig scandal.
- Donald Lam: Lintig? Never heard of Lintig.
- Marion Dunton: Twenty years go by. No one's ever mentioned the Lintigs. So she boosted it up with the boys while the doc slaved away. That was twenty years ago. All of a sudden, BAM, it's a hot item. Any questions?
- Donald Lam: Yeah. Where can you get a decent meal in this town?
- Donald Lam: You're a real gold mine of information, but for the wrong guy.
- Marion Dunton: A girl gets tired of working for a small-town newspaper for her uncle. Maybe a girl would like to get a job in a big city like L.A.
- Donald Lam: Big city? Try San Francisco - L.A.'s just a village with gland trouble.
- Marion Dunton: Okay, so go eat at Murphy's diner. Order anything - it all comes out pot roast.
- Donald Lam: Thanks - Murphy's Diner.
- Marion Dunton: My name is Dunton - Marian Dunton. Ms. Dell is in Room 5, Oakview Beach Motel. And the next time you want to look uninterested, don't squint while you memorize.
- John Harbet: My friends tell me you're little but smart.
- Donald Lam: I had a chance to be tall and stupid. I blew it.
- Donald Lam: ...I wake up on the beach outside of Oakview. My car is parked off the road. It takes both my hands to carry my achin' head to the car.
- Bertha Cool: I wonder if bandages are deductible?
- Bertha Cool: The medical association says Dr. James Lintig got his name changed legally to Charles Altmont. He's moved to Santa Carlotta.
- Donald Lam: Santa Carlotta? There's a wide-open little town. They've invented some new vices and kept all the old ones.
- Bertha Cool: [to Flo] Take it easy, girlie, unless you want to be the only bald-headed woman on the block.
- [last lines]
- Bertha Cool: Doc Lintig was very grateful for keeping his name out of the whole mess. He sent us a lovely bouquet of money.
- Donald Lam: Good! I'm taking Marion to dinner to celebrate.
- Bertha Cool: I know a joint - 65 cent meals, real nice paper napkins. They got a jukebox next door; you can hear the music through the walls. It's on Pico!
- Donald Lam: We're going to dinner at Chasen's for real champagne. I'm bringing my own gypsy violinist. I'll charge it to expenses!