- Timothy Tunks: [about why he'd rather sleep with tour opener John Vanderslice as opposed to a member of Beulah] The actual act of coitus might not be so great, but I bet he'd cuddle like a motherfucker.
- Trey Garrett: What do I do on tour? Drive a van. Help load equipment. Unload equipment. Eat fast food. Try not to spend any money. Smoke too many cigarettes. Occasionally drink too much beer. Hurry up and wait. Sell t-shirts, cds. Keep the groupies away from the band. And sleep - occasionally.
- Miles Kurosky: Your girlfriend will be there tomorrow, take her to the movies tomorrow. Go see Beulah tonight.