My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)

Uma Thurman: Jenny Johnson, G-Girl

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Quotes 

• Jenny Johnson : [after breaking the bed while having sex]  I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one.

  Matt Saunders : A bed or a penis?

  Jenny Johnson : Both.

• Jenny Johnson : I thought you were just a jerk. Now I find out you're really STUPID. Teaming up with Barry?

  Jenny Johnson : [to Matt, as she crushes his chest with her big foot]  You broke my heart! Now, I'm going to break your EVERYTHING!

  Hannah Lewis : [Hannah is flying, she just got super-powers]  HEY! Let go of my boyfriend, you crazy bitch!

  Jenny Johnson : Bring it!

  [they start fighting in mid-air] 

• Jenny Johnson : I gotta go to the bathroom.

  Matt Saunders : You didn't just go to the bathroom?

  Jenny Johnson : Are you keeping track? That's kind of creepy.

• [after revealing her secret to Matt] 

  Jenny Johnson : Say "I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell."

  Matt Saunders : Is that a possibility?

  Jenny Johnson : Say it!

  Matt Saunders : Ok. I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell.

• [as they're floating up in the sky] 

  Jenny Johnson : I've always wanted to try this.

  Matt Saunders : Try what?

  [Jenny unzips his pants] 

  Matt Saunders : That. Wow. I'm not sure that's gonna work up here. It's drafty, too.

• Jenny Johnson : I'm ready.

  Matt Saunders : That's what I call structural integrity.

• Jenny Johnson : [to Matt Saunders]  By the way, his name's not really Bedlam. It's Barry. Barry EDward LAMbert. Bedlam, get it? Back then, we were both kind of outcasts. Everybody else hated us, they'd say, "Nerd alert! Here come the geeks." So we looked out for each other. It's only natural that we spent a lot of time together. We really liked each other. It was close to the end of our Junior year in high school, when I decided it was about time to get the whole virginity thing over with. I mean, Barry was harmless enough. I figured it might as well be him, right?

• [in a dream sequence, Matt tells Vaughan G-Girl's secret identity] 

  Jenny Johnson : [brandishing a chainsaw]  I WARNED YOU, MATT SAUNDERS!

• Jenny Johnson : [off screen; in a loud yell]  Hey, sweetie!

  [Matt looks out Hannah's window to see G-Girl hovering in front of him] 

  Jenny Johnson : I hate you, Matt Saunders!

  [proceeds to throw a Great White shark into the apartment] 

• Matt Saunders : I think everybody's preoccupied with what's happening. Maybe if someone could just take care of the problem, everyone can have a better night, a smoother night, know what I mean?

  Jenny Johnson : You'd like that, wouldn't you?

  Matt Saunders : Yeah, I'd appreciate it. In fact, I'd super-appreciate it.

• Jenny Johnson : [seductively, walking toward him slowly]  Matt Saunders, I'm afraid you've been a very evil boy. I think you need to be brought to justice.

  Matt Saunders : [with a big grin on his face]  Oh, yeah, I have been known to break a few rules here and there.

  Jenny Johnson : [still seductive]  Total, unequivocal justice.