Max Casella: Self

Quotes 

• Kenny Ortega : Has anybody seen Trey?

  Max Casella : Fugget about Trey, where's my fuckin' chair?

  Don Knotts : I've got your fuckin' chair, bitch! Why don't come find it? Stupid fucking heavy thing...

• Max Casella : Fuhget about Trey, where's my fucking chair?

• Christian Bale : [folding his paper up upon seeing Max]  So, have you seen it?

  Max Casella : [angrily as he takes a seat on the sidewalk]  Seen what?

  Christian Bale : The chair.

  Max Casella : Where the hell is it? I been lookin' all ova for it!

  Christian Bale : [points to the top of the World Building]  Well... it's up there, 'innit?

  Max Casella : [stands up and looks carefully at the World Building]  How'd it get all the way up there?

  [turns to Christian and points] 

  Max Casella : I'm gonna go get it...

  [saunters off] 

• Max Casella : Son of a bitch bastard! I'll break his ivory dome that cock sucka!

• Max Casella : Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you that bad actor, Don Knotts?

  Don Knotts : Fuck the piggies!

• Max Casella : [narrating]  From the director of the Rodney King Beatings, comes the excruciatingly horror tale of a man, pushed to the edge of destiny. Torn between right and wrong, morals and ethics, fiction and reality, creation and destruction, up or down, right or left, stop or go, yes or no, spit or swallow!

  [door at top of stairs swings open revealing an outside rooftop; a man stands over looking at the Universal Studios Newsie backlot] 

  Max Casella : A man! Strangled with humiliation, self pity and insanity, confronted fear itself, and laughed in it's face. This man, driven forth to the Universal Studios set, with a need so tremensly filled with passion and desire, he would stop at no length to accomplish his task!