The Bad Boys of Saturday Night Live (1998 TV Special)

Chris Rock: Self, Various Characters

Quotes 

• Announcer : And now it's time for "The Dark Side with Nat X"! The only show on TV written by a brother, produced by a brother, and strictly for a brother. Now get ready for a man who's so black he urinates oil, cause here comes Nat!

  Nat X : Hey, brothers and sisters, welcome to "The Dark Side." I'm Nat X. The only 15 minute show on TV. Why only 15 minutes? Because if the show was any longer, The Man would have to pay me.

• Nat X : I'm talkin' about The Man that says if a bride wears a white wedding dress, she looks like a virgin, but if a bride wears a black wedding dress, she looks like a hooker. I'm talking about the same Man that owns a company called Black & Decker. Now I don't know what's wrong with that, I'm just mad that they used the word 'black' without my permission.

• Nat X : Now it's time for viewer mail. Sandman, come read me a letter!

  Sandman : Well, Nat, tonight's letter is from Pam Brock and she writes, 'Dear Nat, who's your favorite Christmas character?'

  Nat X : Oh that's easy. All the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph play in any reindeer games. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, he wasn't black, but he sure got treated like he was.

• Nat X : [Holds picture of Michael Jackson as a young adult]  Look at this picture, Michael, what happened to this boy? Michael? Where is he? We want the old Michael, the 'A-B-C' Michael, the 'I'll Be There' Michael, we want that cute little boy back, not some Moonwalking transvestite! Now Michael I only talk about you because I care. Look at the picture! Look at you, look at me! Know why I care? Cause I'm your daddy that's why!