21 Jump Street (TV Series)

Pilot (1987)

Johnny Depp: Officer Tom Hanson

Quotes 

• Off. Tom Hanson #2 : [about Hoffs]  Hey Jenk, you know I'm starting to like that lady. What's her deal?

  Captain Richard Jenko : Hey, don't sweat it man. You'd never make the wait.

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Don't bet on it.

• [last lines] 

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : [setting up his sax]  Well, I figure maybe I can sit in with you guys for a set.

  Captain Richard Jenko : You? You're going to sit in with us? You?

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Yeah, if you can keep up.

  Captain Richard Jenko : Say what? Hey, don't strain yourself bro.

• Captain Briody : He's got an undercover program. It's the Mayor's baby. Nobody on the force knows about this except Silver Shields and Up. It's called Jump Street Chapel. Now the reason it's called that is because this particular undercover unit works out at an old abandoned chapel on the corner of Jump Street and Sixth. Interested?

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Not yet.

  Captain Briody : Every year the department takes younger looking officers. At least younger looking ones we think can handle the pressure. Teach them how to be teenagers again. Then we send them out to various high schools where we could use a good man undercover.

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Kinda like Fast Times at Bust Ya Buddy High?

  Captain Briody : Kinda.

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Yeah. No, thanks. Y'see, I hated high school the first, you know. Swimmin' in gym class without trunks, health films, not getting the girl you wanted because you're not wearing groovy enough shoes. And I don't think I'd get off cutting some kid for a spit ball at his chemistry teacher.

  Captain Briody : I've had eleven homicides in high schools since December.

• Off. Tom Hanson #2 : This is Jump Street Chapel, right?

  Officer Doug Penhall : Only if you're Catholic. Ioki, here, thinks it's a Buddhist temple. Me? I think it's a synagogue. You know, my Mom's Jewish, which only means I get to celebrate both guilt and Hell.

  Officer Harry Truman Ioki : Yeah, you see, his father used to be a priest, so don't play bingo with this guy. He's a killer.

• Charlie : [after a car chase]  Okay buster, get your hands were I can see them and freeze!

  Officer Harry Truman Ioki : Wait a minute, don't shoot! I'm a cop!

  Charlie : Says who?

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Says me.

  Charlie : [to Tom Hanson]  Hanson. I should have known. I didn't recognize you without the bandage on your partner's nose.

• Captain Richard Jenko : Like that sound?

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Not really.

  Captain Richard Jenko : Me neither, PRAISE GOD HALLELUJAH! Maybe I'm saved! Been a deadhead since Woodstock!

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : I didn't go, I was only 5.

• Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Look, I went to the academy to go and patrol, to be a police officer like my... To enforce the law.

  Captain Briody : Tom, it's either this, or I assign you to a desk at progress centre until you look old enough to be a cop.

• Bartender : Bud Light?

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Right.

• Captain Richard Jenko : [holding bag of chips]  Breakfast?

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : No thanks, I'll grab an omelet.

  Captain Richard Jenko : Uh-uh. No you won't. When was the last time you saw a teenager have a cup of black coffee and an omelet for breakfast? Uh-uh, from now on it's potato chips, soda pop, French fries and pizza man! It's the Pepsi generation, sport!

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : Don't call me sport, okay?

  Captain Richard Jenko : Hey pard, I'm your boss, I'll call you anything I want, have a seat, sport.

• Captain Richard Jenko : Now we're about 4 weeks ahead of you, Hanson, so I'm going to have to rush you through some of the training.

  Off. Tom Hanson #2 : What kind of training?

  Captain Richard Jenko : Hoffs! Gonna teach you how to be a teenager again, how does that grab you, sport? I'm talking about the bad kind, the kind that gets into trouble, the kind you're gonna have to be like so they think you're one of them.