- Face: We're probably the only guys to survive an airplane crash only to be killed minutes later by an irate passenger.
- [after crashing the plane]
- Murdock: That concludes your flight with Miracle Airlines, the only airline where Lady Luck is your co-pilot.
- Face: Are you nuts?
- Murdock: Absolutely and totally.
- Face: How am I gonna get all this stuff out here in the middle of nowhere?
- Murdock: Hey, you always say you can anything, anywhere anytime.
- Face: Yeah, I...
- Murdock: Think of it as a challenge. How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertable in the jungles of 'Nam?
- Murdock: [more skeptical] How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertable in the jungles of 'Nam?
- Face: Professional secret.
- Hannibal: Of course, he was a lot younger then.
- Murdock: [Murdock's answering machine] Howlin' Mad Murdock here, only this time my body's split along with my mind. So, leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you just as soon as my shock therapy's over. Bye now.
- Hannibal: [the team is on an airplane that is about to crash] Okay, Murdock, where did you get this bird?
- Murdock: I clipped it off the rental plane repair line.
- Hannibal: It'd be ridiculous for me to assume that it had been fixed.
- Murdock: [annoyed] Of course it wasn't fixed! They start to miss 'em once they've been fixed! You got to get 'em BEFORE they're fixed!
- Louanne: You know, I've always been kinda fascinated with priests because they aren't allowed. I mean they don't...
- Face: Ah, but sometimes... they do.
- Louanne: Oh no! You and Mary-Anne?
- Face: Sometimes the runner... stumbles.
- Louanne: Oh father, I'm truly sorry. What can I do to help?
- Face: Well... would you happen to have a gasoline engine?
- Murdock: [firing up the ultralight] Red Carpet Flight 86 ready for boarding. All passengers holding tickets will now be on board.
- B.A. Baracus: You got structural weakness in the wing struts and it won't hold you if you start any of your aerobatics. Remember, keep an eye on the silks. If they start to shred, take it down.
- Murdock: I didn't know you cared, sweetheart.
- [reaches up and grabs B.A. by his gold and pulls him down]
- Murdock: Thanks, B.A.
- [winks at him]
- B.A. Baracus: Don't thank me.
- [smiles at Murdock]
- B.A. Baracus: Just keep it out of the trees.
- Reporter Mitchell Barnes: So that's how I came to be in the Middle East for the six day war. Six days! I made it a full week!
- Murdock: [firing up the ultralight] Red Carpet Flight 86 ready for boarding. All passengers holding tickets will now be onboard.
- B.A. Baracus: You got structural weakness in the wing struts and it won't hold you if you start any of your aerobatics. Remember, keep an eye on the silks. If they start to shred, take it down.
- Murdock: I didn't know you cared, sweetheart.
- [reaches up and grabs B.A. by his gold and pulls him down]
- Murdock: Thanks, B.A.
- [winks at him]
- B.A. Baracus: Don't thank me.
- [smiles at Murdock]
- B.A. Baracus: Just keep it out of the trees.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: This thing is supposed to fly?
- Murdock: I got no fear. I'll go up in anything. 'Cept an elevator.