- Willie: What are you playing?
- ALF: [at a video game] Space Invaders.
- Willie: What do they do? Live in your garage, eat all your food, dig up your back yard?
- ALF: You're in a mood...
- Willie: Yes, I am! Because I found my good hoe, in THIS condition!
- [holds up a pole with a bit of mangled scrap iron on one end]
- ALF: Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was plowing up your yard and I hit a water main... Don't worry, it wasn't yours.