- Flakey Pete: Uh, Flakey Pete. My friends call me Flakey Pete. Or Flakey Pete Finnegan, but mostly my friends don't call me 'cause I don't have a phone.
- Willie Tanner: That is the worst thing you have ever done.
- ALF: Willie, every time you say that, it loses a little more impact.
- Brian Tanner: What's wrong?
- ALF: Feeling, Bri. Motivation! You're a pilgrim! Two storm-tossed months at sea. You're weak. You're hungry. You wanna strangle your travel agent.
- Brian Tanner: Wow. It's raining cats and dogs.
- ALF: Raining cats? You open the skylight, I'll get the relish!