Action (TV Series)

Mr. Dragon Goes to Washington (1999)

Jay Mohr: Peter Dragon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Senator Powell : Now you are perilously close to being cited for contempt, Mister Dragon!

  Peter Dragon : I'm already in contempt! I'm in contempt of all you old whores and hypocrites! At least I'm giving the American people what they want!

  Senator Powell : And just exactly what is it that you think they want?

  Peter Dragon : I'll tell "yew" exactly what they want, Senator: they want chase scenes and car crashes! They want firm breasts and tight-assed Latino men! They want their cowboys to be strong and silent. They want their cops to bend the rules to get the job done. They want the boy to get the girl. They want the alien to be killed... unless he's cute. They want the good guy to win. They want the bad guy to die, hopefully in the biggest explosion the budget will allow. But most importantly, Senator, they want to walk into a theater and for ninety minutes be able to forget about the fucking mess you have left of this nation.

• Senator : Mr. Dragon, you have a young daughter, do you not?

  Peter Dragon : Let's not go there...

  Senator : Her name is Georgia, she's about 10 years old I believe.

  Peter Dragon : Don't do this.

  Senator : Has little Georgia seen your film entitled "Ripcord"?

  Peter Dragon : She can't get in Senator, it's rated R.

  Senator : Which contains 357 acts of violence, 175 profanities, and four scenes of lesbian sex. She proud of her daddy for that one?

  Wendy Ward : I think we should just go.

  Senator : How can you look that sweet little girl in the eye?

  Peter Dragon : I manage. I never voted to subsidize the growing of tobacco, while turning my back on food programs for starving kids. I've never vetoed a gun control bill; all MY guns are fake, Senator. I've never rushed to the defense of Kuwaiti oil fields, while ignoring genocide in Africa, because big oil companies that line your fat pockets aren't concerned with black Africa. Those are all productions of YOUR company Senator, this company right here!

• Peter Dragon : Listen to these numbers: In 1987, 95% of all on-screen homicidal maniacs were played by white males. Whereas last year, 50% of on-screen homicidal maniacs were played by blacks, women, and Puerto Ricans. I, sir, am very proud of those numbers and their progress.

• Connie Hunt : Nobody loves you, Peter. That means that you're gonna have to do something very public, very generous, and totally altruistic.

  Peter Dragon : Public and generous I can do, altruistic I'm not so sure about.

  Connie Hunt : Why not?

  Peter Dragon : I don't know what that means.

• Peter Dragon : Welcome. Thank you all for coming to the grand opening of the Peter Dragon Camp for Pediatric German Measles. Kids with measles, why do they fall through the cracks? And these aren't ordinary measles, people, these are *German* measles. *German*. We all know what that means, they're highly organized, they're efficient, and they're brutal. German measles will not stop their path of destruction until somebody stand up to them and says: Never again! Well, I, Peter Dragon, am here today to say: *Never again*!

• Stuart Glazer : Hey Peter, what are we helping to cure?

  Peter Dragon : Nothing, Stuart, these are rich white people, they are here for their own egos, they're hypocrites. Look on the necklace on Candy Spelling, you'd rip that off her neck, you could cure *death*.

• Peter Dragon : I'm gonna get violence off the streets and back where it belongs: in the movies.

• Peter Dragon : Honey, give me a break. Was what I did really that bad?

  Connie Hunt : You called five of the most powerful men in America 'old whores' and then you told the rest of the country they were only interested in Stallone movies and oral sex.

  Peter Dragon : Yeah well, I was obviously kidding, nobody cares about Stallone movies.