- Doc Terwilliger: Now you watch this; here's how it's done. "All right, folks, come on in a little closer. Gather 'round me for I bring you one of the wonders of ancient medicine: the secret tonic of Montezuma! Guarenteed to prolong life and restore youth. One bottle will make you feel like a new man; two will make you feel like new twins and it's so pleasant to the taste it's delicious on flapjacks.
- Jake Webster: I think I can pick it up without much trouble.
- Doc Terwilliger: Why, sure you can, Jake. All's you got to do is act like you drink it yourself... which is something I ain't never done.
- [Jake has stolen Sandy's horse and fled into the foothills and the pony he left behind is too small and slow to catch him]
- Sandy North: Well, you did your best, pony, but you couldn't catch that horse of mine if you had eight legs.
- Doc Terwilliger: Who in the world would ever think he was a jewel thief.
- Sheriff Dawson: One of the slickest.
- Sandy North: Yeah, and he's not a bad horse thief, either.
- [Ote and his partner try to hold up Jake]
- Jake Webster: Now, you boys are wastin' your time. We belong to the same lodge.
- Ote Bledsoe: Lodge? What are you talkin' about?
- Jake Webster: This horse - it's stolen. I stole him to get away from the sheriff who happens to want me for robbery.
- Jake Webster: Look, boys, I need help. I'm ready to talk a deal. You want to listen and I'll cut into a fifty thousand dollar pot.
- Ote Bledsoe: Yeah? Get down and spread your cards!