- Alfred Hitchcock - Host: [holding onto a bicycle] Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I have just been competing in a six day bicycle race; I'm quite proud to say I finished first, I quit after five minutes. Fortunately the bicycle seems to be invented by some realist who knew how often he would have to push it.
- Ellen Powell: [David turns off Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, runs down the stairs] Noooo I was watching tha-a-a-a-a-a-at!
- David Powell: I'm sorry but you weren't even in here.
- Ellen Powell: I was watching in the bedroom. You know I never miss meeting my hotshot real estate mogul. So how many rustic fixer uppers did you sell today?
- David Powell: Did you have any idea how much these chairs are going to cost? $2,100 for two chairs. I'm still trying to pay off the jacuzzi and the new patio that you wanted.
- Ellen Powell: Sure, blame it on me. I just wanted to give us a place where we could entertain your boss like the Hendersons do. And maybe he'd see you could handle the big commercial clients instead of pushing those $50,000 hovels. But no, you only think about what it costs, you are so cheap.
- David Powell: Cheap, who are you calling cheap? Didn't I buy you that stupid diamond necklace you wanted so badly? 'I just have to have that'. I could've bought a car for what that thing cost.
- David Powell: What are you, some kind of barfly shrink?
- Mr. Smith: No, not really. My specialty's problem solving, you could call me a contractor.
- David Powell: Well thank you, I don't need any therapy or aluminum siding, or life insurance tonight.
- Mr. Smith: You're right, what you need to do is eliminate that problem.
- Ellen Powell: You're not coming into this bedroom.
- David Powell: I wouldn't be caught dead in there.
- Ellen Powell: You've been dead in there for years.
- David Powell: You're absolutely right, but who wouldn't die in there? No man has come within 10 feet of your bed except Johnny Carson, you even fell asleep on him.
- David Powell: I don't have to take this off of you anymore.
- Ellen Powell: Then get a divorce, you think it's tough now, you just wait. I'll make your life miserable.
- David Powell: You already perfected that to a fine art. And it's too bad because I used to love you, a long time ago.
- Mr. Smith: Now here's what I want you to understand; you and this decision, it's like a marriage, only this is forever and you are wedded. So I'm going to ask you one more time, are you sure? Do you really want to do it?
- David Powell: I do.
- Mr. Smith: Very well, you may kiss the bride.
- David Powell: Will it be violent?
- Mr. Smith: What do you think I'm going to do, go in there and shoot her in the head or something? Look, it'll be done, tomorrow.