- [due to a spell, Angel can't remember anything past the age of seventeen]
- Angel: I'm supposed to be evil, but they attack me without cause. They gang up on me because I'm different. They're as bad as my father.
- Connor: Fathers. Don't they suck?
- Angel: Say one thing then. "Be good. Fear God. Do as you're told." And the whole while I know good and well, he's had his share of sinning.
- Connor: Sounds kinda like my father.
- Angel: Is he a self-righteous bastard?
- Connor: You'd be amazed.
- Gunn: What happened to you, man?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I had my throat cut and all my friends abandoned me.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The cross obviously doesn't affect me, or our friend the pugilist.
- Gunn: Oh, your ass better pray I don't look that word up.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There are stories at the Watcher's Academy of a test. A secret gauntlet which only the most cunning can survive. You're locked in a house with a vicious, deadly vampire, and you have to kill him before he kills you. It's been done in the past with slayers.
- Fred: [Excited] Slayer? The band?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Walks in while Fred and Lorne are speaking Pylean] Did I miss the spell? Did English go away?
- Lorne: No, it's Pylean, crumpet. I said, "I may be prepared to shout a joyful chant."
- Fred: And I said, "May your words please the gods."
- Lorne: [Cut to Lorne's narration to the audience] OK, first of all, she didn't say, "May your words please the gods," so much as "May you orally please the gods," which is a slight... inflection's very crucial in our-oh, God bless her, it's always nice to hear the mother tongue-as long as it's not from my mother!
- Cordelia: Maybe I was gonna tell you to back off, buddy. Maybe you were comin' on too strong. Harassing me in the workplace. Maybe I had a red-hot restraining order in my mitts. You ever think of that?
- Angel: I was never - in the workplace. I - Well, there was that one time with the - with the ballet and-and the stripping and then the roundness. But that was a spell. And-and we were meeting in Malibu on the bluffs at night. That's a pretty romantic restraining order!
- Cordelia: You have no idea how much this is killing me. I know my ABC's, my history. I know who's President and that I sort of wish I didn't. I know the name of every shoe store in the Beverly Center, but I don't - I don't even recognize the sound of my own name.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So who are you?
- Gunn: I'm the guy that's gonna be kickin' a whole mess of ass somebody don't tell me what's goin' on.
- Cordelia: What do they call you for short?
- Lorne: [after the show has returned from commercial break] Well, those were some exciting products, am I right? Let's all think about buying some of those.
- Cordelia Chase: [touches her short hairstyle] Oh, God. Oh, God. My hair. My hair.
- [crying]
- Cordelia Chase: The government gave me bad hair.
- Angel: Mad. You're all mad. These clothes. Your speech. This place. What land is this?
- Gunn: What land is it supposed to be?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Angel] Yes, where do you hail from, friend?
- Angel: [Angerly] I'm not your friend, you English pig! We never wanted you in Ireland. We don't want you now.
- Gunn: You Irish?
- Cordelia: You don't sound Irish?
- Angel: For most certain, I sound exactly-
- [releasing he doesn't have an Irish accent, puts his hand to his throat in panic]
- Angel: Something is wrong with my voice!
- Gunn: Don't be giving me orders. I run my own crew.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm sure your seafaring adventures are very interesting, but I have experience of things you couldn't imagine.
- [Proudly]
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not head boy for nothing.
- Gunn: You 'bout to be headless boy, you don't get out my face!
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Overly dramatic] All right. I'm going to let you all in on something you may have trouble comprehending. I assure you that however...
- Gunn: [interrupting] Vampires are real.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Whining] I was telling!
- Fred: [after Angel leaves the hotel] Do you think Liam's okay out there?
- Gunn: If something's eating him, at least he ain't as bored as me.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Joke all you like. Liam, right now, may be facing horrors he's never even imagined
- [Angel runs out to the street through the garden. When he reaches the street, he stares in horror at cars zooming by on the road. Terrified by the alien sight, he runs back to the hotel]
- Angel: [Running in the hotel and slamming the doors shut] Demons!
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Really?
- [to Gunn]
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Told you.
- [to Angel]
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How many?
- Angel: [Still terrified by the sight of cars] Hundreds. Screaming.
- Fred: [Concerned] Will they try to get in?
- Angel: Don't think they saw me.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What type of demons, would you say?
- Angel: Shiny.
- Cordelia: I suggest we gather some cops.
- Gunn: Yo... I don't want no heat near me.
- Fred: I don't think we should call the police anyhow. I mean, they're probably involved.
- Gunn: In what?
- Fred: Don't y'all think this is some kind of government conspiracy? 'Cause my friend, Levon, says the government's always taking kids and experimentin' on 'em. Did anybody else have to take a personality disorder test recently? They ask you about politics and your bowel movements and if you want to be a florist...
- Fred: [Fred's inspecting a houseplant] This is important. It's so beautiful...
- [pukes into the plant]
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The important thing is to start with the facts. We're all from different cities, we're all of an age...
- [rubs chin thoughtfully]
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Judging from the amount of facial hair I've grown, we've all been unconscious for at least a month.
- Cordelia: [Touches her short hairstyle] Oh, God. Oh, God. My hair. My hair.
- [Crying]
- Cordelia: The government gave me bad hair!
- Fred: [Reassuringly] No, no, it's nice!
- Cordelia: Are you sure?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's... eh... very attractive. But a clue, nonetheless. Perhaps the whole point of this experiment is hair!
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The simple fact is... the fiend has been under our noses the entire time, waiting for the moment to...
- [takes cross out of his breast pocket, and puts it in Gunn's face]
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Strike!
- [Gunn punches Wesley in the face, and Wes falls to the ground]
- Angel: See?
- [giggles]
- Angel: The English is stupid.
- Cordelia: [after Angel walks into her room without knocking] So... you're perfectly OK with just wandering into my room any old time? That fits the "we were in love" theory and the harassment theory - pretty much equally.
- Angel: [Walking toward the door] There's nothing here. This place is evil, and I think that I should leave now 'cause of evil.
- Angel: [Runs after Angel] Don't be a fool!
- Angel: Good luck, all.
- [leaves through front door]
- Gunn: [Sarcastically, to Wesley; who previously stated that all the hotel doors must be bolted shut] So, we're all locked in, huh?