Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

The Laughing Fish (1993)

Kevin Conroy: Batman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Batman : [Francis scratches himself]  Feeling all right?

  G. Carl Francis : Oh, sure. It's just that everything's been so crazy today. I haven't even had time to rinse off that gunk the Joker's girl squirted on me.

  Batman : [yelling]  Get this man to a hospital, now!

  G. Carl Francis : [shocked]  What?

• [after dissecting a Joker fish] 

  Batman : Well, he's not out to poison people. This diluted toxin only affects fish.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Maybe he's trying to make us all die from disgust.

• Detective Harvey Bullock : Relax, Mr. Francis. I got men posted at every window and door. Nobody's sneaking in here tonight.

  Batman : [doing so, dressed as a patrol cop]  If I got in this easily... so will the Joker.

  Detective Harvey Bullock : Hey, hey! This is police business! Haul your bat butt out of here!

  Commissioner James Gordon : Hold it, Detective. No one knows the Joker's methods better than Batman. He stays.

  Detective Harvey Bullock : [grumbling under his breath]  Glory-hoggin, long underwear geek.

• Batman : He'll be all right once the antivenom kicks in.

  Detective Harvey Bullock : I don't get it. We all breathed the gas, and we're not smiling.

  Batman : He didn't want us. That gas is one part of a binary compound. The Joker exposed Francis to the other part when he threatened him this morning.

  The Joker : [the TV turns on]  This just in. Former copyright director G. Carl Francis will be taking an extended vacation.

  [his picture of Francis changes] 

  The Joker : Looks like he's having more fun already! But I'm not happy! If I don't get my legal claim to my fish by 3:00 a.m., the number two bureaucrat, Thomas Jackson, will feel my wrath. And now, Batman, 'cause I know you're watching, here's a message from our sponsor.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Any idea what our happy friend is up to now?

  Batman : Normal criminals usually have logical motives, but the Joker's insane schemes make sense to him alone.

• Batman : Commissioner, have a look at this fish. It's a Japanese tang, not native to Gotham's cold waters.

  Commissioner James Gordon : So, where did it come from?

• Batman : There's no place left to go, Joker.

  The Joker : [jumping off the ledge, he inflates a plastic lifesaver]  See, Batsy, I think of everything.

• G. Carl Francis : Uh, Batman, why is this happening to me? I've never done anything to this Joker. I'm just a paper-pusher. I can't change the laws. I'm harmless.

  Batman : And in his sick mind, that's the joke, Mr. Francis.

• [after a narrow escape from a shark tank] 

  Batman : You okay?

  [Bullock keeps coughing out water, but:] 

  Bullock : Just give him one for me, will you?

  [Batman smiles and takes off after Joker] 

• The Joker : Now, this fella here... came with his own grin. See the resemblance? And check out my catch of the day.

  Batman : [seeing Bullock restrained]  Bullock.

  Detective Harvey Bullock : [spitting out a fish]  I didn't need no batcomputer to tell me that weird-looking minnow came from an aquarium.

  The Joker : Yes, well, this is all tremendously boring. Of course, I can always amuse myself watching old Har give my shark indigestion.

• [last lines] 

  Commissioner James Gordon : Do you think he's gone for good?

  Batman : Believe me, Jim, I wish it were true. But deep inside, I doubt it.