- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: A man once told me he didn't want anything to do with me.
- Marcy Hill: Oh, Gretchen, that must have been very painful.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Ja. It was my accordion teacher.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: You know, I had a fraternity brother who almost became a minister.
- Father Patton: Really? What stopped him?
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Prison.
- Rabbi Weiss: I know what you are saying. If your father had been a Jew, you would have been a good Jew.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Exactly.
- Rabbi Weiss: And you wouldn't be Governor of this state.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: That reminds me of a very amusing story.
- Rabbi Weiss: I hope it isn't the one about the priest, the rabbi, and the camel.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: There was this priest, this rabbi, and this camel.
- Casey Turner: I'm not a girl who takes no for an answer.
- Benson DuBois: You're not a girl who gives no for an answer.