- Topanga Lawrence: You have a picture of your brother in your wallet?
- Cory Matthews: Yeah, why?
- Topanga Lawrence: Oh, nothing, I just think it's sweet. I'm in there too, right?
- Cory Matthews: [hesitates] You will be.
- Topanga Lawrence: How come you're not kissing me?
- Cory Matthews: Because the second our lips touch, he's coming in here. Watch.
- Topanga Lawrence: Look, Cory, this is your room now and Eric knows it. He's not just going to walk in here and take over. Kiss.
- [They kiss and, true to Cory's prediction, Eric enters]
- Eric Matthews: Hello!
- Cory Matthews: Shawn, I've been waiting for this my whole life. Eric has gone to college and the room is mine. All mine.
- Shawn Hunter: What's with all the candles?
- Cory Matthews: Oh, those are for Topanga. They set the mood.
- Shawn Hunter: Hmm. Kinda looks like a church in here.
- Cory Matthews: You're ruining the mood. Finally, you know? I'm no longer a guest in this room. It's mine. Do you see that picture? Mine. You see that wallpaper? Mine!
- Delivery Man: [comes in carrying a mattress] Whose queen size bed is this?
- Cory Matthews: Mine!
- Delivery Man: First room to yourself, huh?
- Cory Matthews: Maybe.
- Delivery Man: This comes with the industry standard twenty year warranty. And remember. No means no.
- Cory Matthews: I must've shown Eric like ten places. He doesn't like anything. Okay, one place has a white fridge. He wants avocado. Then he insists on something with an ocean view so he can relax his nerves.
- Topanga Lawrence: Well, an ocean view sounds nice.
- Cory Matthews: We live in Philadelphia!
- Topanga Lawrence: Stop snapping. I'm the girlfriend.
- Cory Matthews: Say kiss.
- Topanga Lawrence: Kiss
- [they do]
- Cory Matthews: Sorry. It's just I don't understand Eric. He's got this great opportunity to be out of the house and instead he returns home to give *me* the business.
- Topanga Lawrence: You know what you need? You need some college guy to walk down those stairs, announce that he's new in town and that he needs roommates.
- Cory Matthews: If you love me, you could make that happen.
- Jack Hunter: Excuse me. New guy in town. Going to Pennbrook. Just got a three bedroom apartment and I'm looking for roommates
- Topanga Lawrence: I heard him talking outside but I do love you though.
- Jack Hunter: Favorit color on three.
- Eric Matthews: Go.
- Eric Matthews, Jack Hunter: One, two, three. Blue!
- Jack Hunter: See ya later, man!
- Eric Matthews: Yeah, good to meet you.
- [aside to Cory]
- Eric Matthews: I don't like him.
- Cory Matthews: Finally something good happens for Cory. The world is my friend.
- Shawn Hunter: [to Jack] What are *you* doing here?
- Cory Matthews: No, don't ruin this for me. Shawn, listen, whoever this guy is. Whatever minor personal infraction happened between the two of you, let it go. Because the world knows that this one is gonna be Eric's roommate and the world is *my* friend.
- Topanga Lawrence: How do you two know each other?
- Shawn Hunter: He's my brother.
- Cory Matthews: Of course he is! He is *not* your brother!
- Eric Matthews: Favorite movie.
- Jack Hunter: On three.
- Eric Matthews, Jack Hunter: One, two, three. Godfather! Part II!
- Eric Matthews: [to Alan after Jack leaves] I don't get him.
- Jack Hunter: You smoke?
- Eric Matthews: No. Do you smoke?
- Jack Hunter: No.
- Eric Matthews: You like pets?
- Jack Hunter: No. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself. You?
- Eric Matthews: No, I'm not a pet guy. I got four kids though.
- [Cory laughs as the other two stare at him, deadly serious]
- Cory Matthews: I thought it was funny.
- George Feeny: It's nice to see father and son together again, playing a spirited game of hoops hmm?
- [He notices the look on Amy's face]
- George Feeny: You're not happy are you?
- Amy Matthews: For years now I have watched you give advice to everybody but never me. Why is that? Why?
- George Feeny: You don't ask.
- Amy Matthews: Eric was supposed to be in college but at the first little bump in the road he comes running back home and Alan is okay with it!
- George Feeny: But you're not?
- Amy Matthews: It was hard enough saying goodbye to Eric. I don't want to do it again.
- George Feeny: Well, perhaps Alan just misses the...
- Amy Matthews: Oh, that's not it! This is it! He's Eric's father, he's Eric's best friend. The best friend can't bring himself to say goodbye and kick Eric out of the nest. Thank you, George. Oh, well said!
- George Feeny: I have problems too, you know?
- Cory Matthews: You and Jack are so perfect for each other, you should be married.
- Eric Matthews: I'm not ready.
- Eric Matthews: So, first day of college and I got no place to stay. Show up at the dorm I say, "excuse me ding, ding, ding. Front please. Eric Matthews. I go here. Where's my towel? Where's my room?" They tell me I'm not on the list. Like there's a list!
- Amy Matthews: Eric, I gave you the forms for the housing list three months ago.
- Alan Matthews: Amy, go easy on him. Our son had a little mix-up in housing. He's home for a visit. Cake?
- Eric Matthews: Ooh. Cut it for me?
- Amy Matthews: It's not a visit. He's back.
- Eric Matthews: Why isn't Mommy happy to see me?
- Amy Matthews: I am. It's just sometimes you scare me. I mean, how are you supposed to do well in college if you can't even fill out a housing application.
- Eric Matthews: Oh! It's worse than that. Checked the wrong box on another form and now they think I'm an eskimo.
- Chet Hunter: Oh, this parenting thing. It isn't easy, is it Chet?
- Chet Hunter: Nope. But I'm learning.
- Jack Hunter: Look, Shawn. I think we need to talk, okay?
- Shawn Hunter: You turned your back on your father! And on me! There we talked.
- Chet Hunter: How was your day, boy?
- Shawn Hunter: Just another day.
- Chet Hunter: Anything out of the ordinary?
- Shawn Hunter: Just another day.
- Chet Hunter: I like this talking we're doing. It's good.
- Shawn Hunter: Did you finally get up enough guilt about Dad to pay him a little pity call?
- Jack Hunter: That's not it. I wanted to come here. I have a brother here. I came here to see you too!
- Shawn Hunter: Yeah, right.
- Eric Matthews: She didn't leave cause of me, did she?
- Cory Matthews: No. She left because "Big Daddy rocks"!