- Eric Matthews: You see, I knew this would all work out. It worked out for you, and it worked out for me. Guys, I want you to meet the woman I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with.
- Amy Matthews: We've met. Meet your cousin, Wanda.
- Eric Matthews: Ohh! Ugh!
- Cory Matthews: Hey, who's that sexy babe in that wet tank top? She's pret...
- [realizes it's his mom]
- Cory Matthews: Oh my God.
- Eric Matthews: Ooh, who's that sexy babe in the tank top?
- Cory Matthews: That would be Mom.
- Eric Matthews: Ahh! Ahh!
- The Manager: Excuse me. I'd just like to tell you that I really liked what I heard.
- Gordy: Oh. Nah, it was nothing. We were just messing around.
- The Manager: No, no, no. You guys really got something. I mean, believe me. I know what I'm talking about. I used to manage a band. Well, a few years ago. It's a family group. Still got the bus we toured in!
- [He hands Jedediah a business card]
- Jedediah Lawrence: The name sounds familiar.
- The Manager: It sure would be nice to be able to be able to handle an act without a mother in it. Well, so, call me. You know, you guys could be bigger than the Beatles.
- [He leaves]
- Gordy, Jedediah Lawrence, Reginald Fairfield: Bigger than the Beatles. Hm.
- [They mull it over]
- Gordy, Jedediah Lawrence, Reginald Fairfield: Nah!
- Cory Matthews: You know what, Eric? We just might get away with this.
- Eric Matthews: Mhm. Soon we'll be John Adams legends, and you know the best part?
- Cory Matthews: What's that?
- Alan Matthews: Your parents don't have a clue.
- Eric Matthews: Yeah...
- Cory Matthews: Exactly.
- [they realize that they are busted, and slowly turn to see Alan facing them]
- Gordy: [while carrying a hot tub up the stairs] When you're young, this may be for making out. But, when you are your parents' age, it is for reading.
- Alan Matthews: Come on, Gordy, you've got more miles than I do.
- Gordy: And I'm very well read.
- Shawn Hunter: [There is a massive handpainted sign advertising an illegal rave. As Mr. Feeny walks by, he tears it down. The students in the hall groan] You know, Mr. Feeny, just between you and me, it's stuff like this that really makes you unpopular.
- George Feeny: Sure. And it's lonely at the top. But I save a lot of money on call waiting.
- Shawn Hunter: What do you have against throwing an illegal rave?
- Cory Matthews: Hey, what is a rave, anyway?
- George Feeny: A rowdy underground party. Get hip, Mr. Matthews.
- Reginald Fairfield: So, Gordon, Alan Matthews tells me you have a lovely big home with lots of extra bedrooms.
- Gordy: Oh, did he? Well, it's barely a shack compared to Jedediah's place. Freestanding guesthouse.
- Reginald Fairfield: Ooh! Perfect.
- Jedediah Lawrence: If you even drive down my street, you're a dead man.