- Cory Matthews: So you think I'm a geek?
- Shawn Hunter: Of course not.
- Cory Matthews: So you think I'm cool?
- Shawn Hunter: Of course not.
- Cory Matthews: Then what am I?
- Shawn Hunter: You're Cory, I'm Shawn, just like it's always been. What else do you need to know?
- Harvey 'Harley' Keiner: Don't think I forgot about you, Baboon. Don't think I forgot about last Tuesday. You sat in my chair in the cafeteria.
- Cory Matthews: I'm sorry, Harley. I didn't know it was your chair.
- Joseph 'Joey the Rat' Epstein: Hey, everybody knows that's Harley's chair. Everybody knows it's always been Harley's chair and it's always gonna be Harley's chair every year that he's a senior. Ain't that right, Frankie?
- Frankie Stechino: What are you sayin'? I like my sister?
- Joseph 'Joey the Rat' Epstein: No, no! I'm not sayin' that. I'm just sayin' you have a very... close family.
- [Frankie walks away]
- Joseph 'Joey the Rat' Epstein: Hey, where ya goin'?
- Frankie Stechino: I wanna call home.
- George Feeny: [reading a note that Cory tried to pass during class] Mr. Matthews wants to know, "is this going to be a make-up party"
- Melissa: Sure Cory. You can borrow my lip gloss.
- Cory Matthews: Out not up! A make-out party!
- George Feeny: Ah, so it is. Mr. Matthews wants to know if this is going to be a make-out party
- Shawn Hunter: Not for him.
- Harvey 'Harley' Keiner: All right. Thirty-three billion. That's a new record. Go carve my initials into that kid's head.
- Joseph 'Joey the Rat' Epstein: That's some score, Harley. That's the best score I ever seen. Nobody's gonna beat that score for, like, a million years. Ain't that right, Frankie?
- Frankie Stechino: What are you sayin'? Sometimes at night I like to write poetry?
- Joseph 'Joey the Rat' Epstein: No! I'm just sayin' that, you know.
- [Frankie walks away and Joey follows him]
- Joseph 'Joey the Rat' Epstein: Actually, I think that's kinda cool. What are they, sonnets?
- Harvey 'Harley' Keiner: I gotta get me some better-adjusted guys.
- Cory Matthews: From what I gather, in the last three seconds, everything in the world has changed.
- Shawn Hunter: What do you mean?
- Cory Matthews: I'm not sure. I mean, Shawn, you're much cooler than I am. At least I *thought* you were.
- Shawn Hunter: Trust me, I am.
- Amy Matthews: Alan, the doctor says that the only reason you can't move is because you won't try. Now, I am your wife and I have all the sympathy in the world for you, but if you don't get your off that couch, I am gonna leave you for the first thing that moves!
- Alan Matthews: Before you go, could you hand me that remote?
- Cory Matthews: [shouting] I'm a geek!
- [everybody turns around]
- Cory Matthews: Oh, like you didn't know.
- Cory Matthews: Remember that decision thing we talked about?
- Jonathan Turner: Yeah.
- Cory Matthews: I kinda made the wrong one.
- Jonathan Turner: Yeah, I coulda told you that.
- Cory Matthews: Then why didn't you?
- Jonathan Turner: Well, you don't listen in class. You gonna listen in life?
- George Feeny: Miss Wilder wants to know what Miss Harrington thinks she should wear to her party. Miss Harrington wants to know what makes Miss Wilder think she's even invited. Oh!
- Eric Matthews: [Cory swallows mouth wash] What, are you crazy? You swallowed that?
- Cory Matthews: I'm taking no chances tonight. I want this stuff in my stomach on reserve.
- Eric Matthews: Why?
- Cory Matthews: Because I'm going to a make-out party. If I burp... minty fresh.
- Eric Matthews: Okay, I guess if you think about it makes sense. Hey, where's my deodorant?
- Cory Matthews: In my pants.
- Eric Matthews: You're sick.
- Cory Matthews: I'm cool.
- Eric Matthews: Since when?
- Cory Matthews: Since Melissa Harrington invited me to her party.
- Eric Matthews: Who's Melissa Harrington?
- Cory Matthews: Only the coolest girl in the 7th grade.
- Eric Matthews: And you got invited?
- Cory Matthews: I did.
- Eric Matthews: So that makes you cool too now, right?
- Cory Matthews: I believe it does.
- Eric Matthews: Well, how about that? I mean, you live with somebody and you think they're gonna stay a curly-haired little runt the rest of their lives. Then you turn around and one day they're cool. Wait, come here, let me look at you. Whoa. I mean, you didn't say you were this cool, Cor.
- Cory Matthews: All right, knock it off Eric.
- Eric Matthews: You are so cool I'm gonna have Mom cut all the feet off your pajamas, 'cause you just may be ready, Mr... Coolio Iglesias. Huh?
- Cory Matthews: Look, you're new here, so you wouldn't know this, but I never really actually thought of myself as cool before.
- Jonathan Turner: You never did?
- Cory Matthews: No. So, now that people are saying I am, it kinda makes me feel good, you know.
- Jonathan Turner: Well, you should feel good, Matthews. Just don't get carried away about what other people think.
- Cory Matthews: Of course not. Why not?
- Jonathan Turner: 'Cause that wouldn't be cool.
- Jonathan Turner: So how do you think I'm doing so far?
- Cory Matthews: You teach English pretty good, and I guess that may come in handy somewhere down the line.
- Jonathan Turner: Si. Es Muy Importante.
- Cory Matthews: Shawn, there's been a miracle!
- Shawn Hunter: Yeah, whatever. Come on, let's go. We're gonna be late for class.
- Cory Matthews: Class? We don't need no stinkin' class. Our futures are set. We are high-school gods. Come, let us repair to the gym and rejoice in our invitations.
- Shawn Hunter: It's gonna be kinda hard, since I didn't get one.
- Cory Matthews: What?
- Shawn Hunter: I didn't get an invite. No biggie.
- Cory Matthews: There's gotta be a mistake. You're the coolest guy in class. You've gotta be invited.
- Shawn Hunter: Yeah, well, looks like I'm not.
- Cory Matthews: I'm gonna find out what happened.
- Shawn Hunter: Let it go, OK? Just let it go.
- Cory Matthews: You want me to ask her?
- Shawn Hunter: Yeah, would you?
- George Feeny: Ah, Alan, there you are. I was wondering if you'd care to join me for a little workout down at the health club.
- Alan Matthews: What for, George?
- George Feeny: For health?
- Cory Matthews: The competition is pretty thin so far. Looks like I'm the coolest guy here.
- Melissa Harrington: Yeah, rub it in.
- Cory Matthews: Hey, guys. Whatcha doin'?
- Ubaldo: We're practicing Spin the Bottle,
- Cory Matthews: But there are no girls.
- Alvin: But there might be later.
- Cory Matthews: Er, guys, I don't think any girls are coming.
- Ubaldo: Oh, well, we don't mind.
- Alvin: We're all friends.
- Simon: Yeah, we like hanging out together.
- Alvin: We're very comfortable with what we are.
- Ubaldo: Parties come and parties go, but you always have your friends.
- Alvin: *That* is why Ubaldo is so cool.