- Morgan Matthews: I was very selfish and inconsiderate yesterday. This is your wedding so I'm going to tell you the truth.
- [Morgan turns to Shawn - smiles then turns back to Topanga]
- Morgan Matthews: YOUR FRIENDS ARE STINKING LIARS! SHAWN PAID THEM 50 BUCKS EACH! AND I WOULDN'T USE THIS DRESS TO WIPE MY A...
- [Alan puts his hand over Morgan's mouth, and drags her away]
- Eric Matthews: [singing, twirling Cory around] For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.
- Cory Matthews: [the candles are knocked over, which light the curtains on fire] Oh my God! Oh my God! Look! It's happening. Eric, look! Look what you did. ERIC!
- Eric Matthews: [singing] The curtain's on fire, the curtain's on fire!
- [Firefighters start chopping down the door]
- Eric Matthews: [continues to sing] They're chopping down the dorm room, they're chopping down the dorm room.
- Cory Matthews: My brother is a moron!
- Eric Matthews: Which nobody can deny!
- Topanga Lawrence: Cut the crap. At least Morgan was honest. Well that's it. If you guys can't put on these dresses and get caught up in the magic of my southern belle wedding then... Who needs y'all?
- Morgan Matthews: You're from Philadelphia, stupid!
- Alan Matthews: [after Cory chooses Shawn over Eric as his best man] You chose Shawn as your best man over your own flesh and blood? You're dead to me!
- Amy Matthews: [entering from the staircase] What did I just hear?
- Cory Matthews: "You're dead to me." Your husband just said that your own son.
- Amy Matthews: Alan?
- Cory Matthews: Do you have any idea how scarring that is?
- Amy Matthews: Alan!
- Alan Matthews: He chose Shawn as his best man.
- Amy Matthews: [to Cory] You scum!
- Topanga Lawrence: Cory, I'm beginning to think you'd be okay if we spent our honeymoon in any old hotel!
- Cory Matthews: Or in the road!
- Topanga Lawrence: There's no way we'll make it until June - just no way. I'll do something very bad to Eric... I will.
- Cory Matthews: Honey...
- Topanga Lawrence: I'm twiching. I know. Back off!