Quotes
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Chris Morris : You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak.
[pause, everyone shocked]
Chris Morris : Thanks.
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Patrick Da Fronk : The fox feels nothing. It's made of string.
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David Jatt : Why do a lot of people not believe that wasps sting?
Sir Peregrine Worsthorne : Well, come out into our garden in South Bucks, on a summer's day and I'll find you a wasp and...
David Jatt : Sting me with it...?
Sir Peregrine Worsthorne : What?
David Jatt : You'd sting me with a wasp?
Sir Peregrine Worsthorne : This is a conversation...
David Jatt : Yes.
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Chris Morris : In Britain in the last century, it was quite acceptable for a gentleman to lose his virginity to one of London's many whore dogs. Dickens and Prince Albert both boasted of their experience.
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Chris Morris : Institutionalised cruelty is one thing, but the twisted brain-wrong of a one-off man-mental is quite another. Ted Maul disturbs.
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David Jatt : This is the grave of a cow. As you will see, it was killed in unnecessary pain, by a man.
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Chris Morris : In ancient Egypt, felines were worshiped because the Egyptians thought they were funny.
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Chris Morris : [before commercial break] Find out exactly what to think, next!
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Bernard Lerring : You can kill an otter in about a second... just kick its face off.
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David Jatt : Here's a point. We execute wasps but we don't execute dogs.
Sir Peregrine Worsthorne : We execute wasps because they sting us, and dogs give us pleasure.
David Jatt : Do wasps really sting us?
Sir Peregrine Worsthorne : Well, they do. They have stung me and it seemed like a sting.
David Jatt : Was it really a sting?
Sir Peregrine Worsthorne : Err, I call it a sting.
David Jatt : I've never... been stung by a wasp. I don't necessarily believe - we're told they sting.
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Bernard Lerring : When you're fighting a weasel, it's bigger than a man.
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Chris Morris : After 13 years of fighting weasels, Bernard Lerring suffered a compound nervous breakdown.