- [Anya practices her wedding vows]
- Anya: Okay... For the last time... I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because I love you and I'll always love you. And before I knew you, I was like a *completely* different person. Not even a person, really. And I'd seen what love could do to people, and it was... hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you. And... you knew me. You saw me. And it was this... thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.
- [first lines]
- Willow Rosenberg: Buffy, it's hideous. Oh, my God, Buffy. Look at its arms.
- Buffy Summers: I know... but it's my duty.
- [shows their green dresses]
- Buffy Summers: I'm Buffy the Bridesmaid.
- Willow Rosenberg: Duty-schmuty. I'm supposed to be best man. Shouldn't I be all Marlene Dietrichy in a dashing tuxedo number?
- Tony Harris: Hey, what do ya say we slip in the back room and I show you my...
- Buffy: You finish that sentence, and I guarantee you won't have *anything* to show.
- [Anya practices her wedding vows]
- Anya: I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, ah, but *not* to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who you do you think you are, like a sea captain, or something?
- [Anya practices her wedding vows]
- Anya: I, Anya, promise to cherish you... Ew, no. Not cherish. Um... I promise to have sex with you whenever... *I* want, and, uh, uh, pledge to be your friend, your wife, and your confidant, and your sex poodle...
- Tara Maclay: Uh, sex poodle?
- Anya: Yeah. Why?
- Tara Maclay: Um, I'm not sure you should say "sex poodle" in your vows.
- Xander Harris: It's dead.
- Buffy Summers: Yup.
- Willow Rosenberg: Is anyone else waiting for it to go poof? Maybe we can cover it with flowers.
- Willow Rosenberg: I'll say this for the Y chromosome. Looks good in a tux.
- Xander Harris: Well, your double X's don't look too bad there, either.
- Xander Harris: It fit when I picked up the tux. How could it not fit now?
- Buffy Summers: It'll fit.
- Xander Harris: Aw, man. What if it doesn't? What if I can't wear my cummerbund? And then the whole world can see the place where my pants meet my shirt! Buffy, that cannot happen! I must wear das cummerbund!
- Old Man: I'm you. I'm you from the future.
- Xander Harris: Oh, from the future! For a minute I thought you were a nut ball, but now that you're from the future...
- Old Man: Please. Please, listen to me.
- [trying to stall the wedding while Willow searches for Xander]
- Buffy: There's just gonna be a little bit of a delay.
- Anya: Why? What's wrong?
- Buffy: Nothing! Nothing's wrong. It-It's just, um... It's the-the minister. He had, uh, to go and perform an emergency C-section.
- Anya: [confused] C-section?
- Buffy: Yeah, ya know. He-He's, uh, not-not just a minister. He-He's also a-a doctor. You know, he's half minister, half doctor. He's a-a, uh, a minitor. Not, of course, to be confused with a Minotaur, because he's all, you know, man-ness, doctor minister man. No-no bull parts whatsoever.
- Anya: Uh-huh.
- [last lines]
- D'Hoffryn: Are you okay?
- Anya: I'm tired of crying... I'm just so tired, D'Hoffryn.
- Anya: Oh, Anyanka. I'm sorry... but you let him domesticate you... When you were a Vengeance Demon, you were powerful. At the top of your game, you crushed men like him... It's time you got back to what you do best. Don't you think?
- Dawn Summers: Spike.
- Spike: Oh, I want you to meet my date.
- Dawn Summers: H-Hi. I'm Dawn.
- Tarantula: Uh-huh.
- Spike: So, yeah, anyway, that's my date. She's with me. My date for the wedding.
- Dawn Summers: Yeah. Okay, well, nice meeting you.
- Dawn Summers: Should we do something for her? Anything?
- Willow Rosenberg: She wants to be alone. That's what she wants. Oh, God, it just hurts my heart to think of her.
- Buffy: I I know. The whole thing hurts my heart.
- Dawn Summers: I thought they were happy.
- Buffy: They were. I know they were. They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.
- Dawn Summers: Why did this happen?
- Willow Rosenberg: I don't know. I feel like I should be hating Xander, but I can't. I just
- [sighs]
- Willow Rosenberg: I just hope he's okay.
- Dawn Summers: I wonder where he is.