- Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fightin' to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
- Buffy Summers: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
- Angel: That's right.
- Spike: You're *not* friends... You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends... Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will... I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
- [Spike tells Willow about his breakup with Drusilla]
- Spike: She wouldn't even kill me... She just left... She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared...? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft... wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything. Beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy... And she would flirt! I caught her on a park bench making out with a Chaos Demon! Have you *ever* seen a Chaos Demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting... She only did it to hurt me... So I said, "I am not putting up with this anymore." And she said, "Fine!" And I said, "Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!" And then she said... s-s-s-she said we could still be friends... God, I'm so unhappy!
- Willow Rosenberg: There, there.
- Spike: I mean, friends! How could she be so cruel?
- Spike: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blamin' everybody else. I want Dru back, I just gotta be the man I was. The man she loved. I'm gonna do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her till she likes me again... Love's a funny thing.
- [Spike tells Joyce about his breakup with Drusilla]
- Spike: So I'm strolling through the park looking for a meal. And I happen to walk by, and she's making out with the Chaos Demon! And, so, I said, "You know, I don't have to put up with this." And she said, "Fine!" So I said, "Fine, do whatever you like!" I mean, I thought we were gonna make up, you know.
- Joyce Summers: Well, she sounds very unreasonable.
- Spike: She is. She's out of her mind... That's what I miss most about her.
- Joyce Summers: Well, Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other their lives just take different paths. Like when Buffy's father and I...
- Spike: No, this is *different*. Our love was eternal. *Literally*... You got any of those little marshmallows?
- Spike: Oh, God.
- Angel: Now what?
- Spike: We killed a homeless man on this bench... Me and Dru... Those were good times.
- [sits on the bench and chuckles]
- Spike: You know, he begged for mercy, and you know, that only made her bite harder.
- Buffy Summers: I guess you had to be there.
- Angel: Hey... I was wondering when you were coming.
- Buffy Summers: I'm not coming back... We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason... What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go.
- Angel: I don't accept that.
- Buffy Summers: You have to.
- Angel: Look... There's gotta be some way we can still see each other.
- Buffy Summers: There is. Tell me that you don't love me.
- Buffy Summers: Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded.
- Rupert Giles: I-I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?
- [Oz stops his van and sniffs]
- Oz: It's Willow... She's nearby.
- Cordelia Chase: What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume.
- Oz: She's afraid.
- Cordelia Chase: Oh my God. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.
- Oz: I really agree.
- [Spike has kidnapped Willow and Xander]
- Willow Rosenberg: He-he wants me to do a love spell.
- Xander Harris: What?
- Willow Rosenberg: Drusilla broke up with him.
- Xander Harris: Gee, and we had all hoped those crazy kids would make it work.
- Oz: [to Willow] Well, I can see why you'd be upset. Uh, that was my sarcastic voice.
- Xander Harris: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
- Oz: I've been told that.
- Spike: Oh, my head. I think I'm soberin' up. It's horrible. Oh, God. I wish I was dead.
- Buffy Summers: Well, if you close your eyes and wish really hard...
- Angel: [to Spike about Joyce] You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!
- Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
- [Buffy comes up behind him]
- Buffy Summers: That would be me.
- [She knocks Spike onto his back on the island and keeps him pinned there by the throat]
- Buffy Summers: Angel, why don't you come on in?
- Joyce Summers: It's just you belong in a good old-fashioned college with-with keg parties and boys. Not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
- Buffy Summers: Not really seeing the distinction.
- Angel: Spike!
- Joyce Summers: Oh, my God. Get out of here.
- Spike: Yeah. You're not invited.
- Joyce Summers: He's crazy. He'll kill us.
- Spike: Not while I breathe... Well, actually, I don't breathe.
- Willow Rosenberg: Now, I'm not a real witch, you know. I-I don't know if this is going to work right away.
- Spike: Well, if at first you don't succeed... I'll kill him...
- [indicates Xander]
- Spike: ... and you try again.
- Willow Rosenberg: [to Spike] Now, hold on! I'll-I'll do you spell for you, and, and... And I'll get you Druscilla back, but-but there will be no bottle in face and-and there will be no "having" of any kind with me.
- [first lines]
- Willow Rosenberg: This is a nightmare. This is... My world is spinning.
- Xander Harris: It's not that bad, Willow, really.
- Willow Rosenberg: 740, verbal? I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
- Xander Harris: That's right. And the fact that you 740, verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot.
- Willow Rosenberg: Buffy! Hey, did you get your SAT scores?
- Xander Harris: By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are going to be manning the drive-thru window side by side.
- Buffy Summers: They're just test scores, right? What do they really mean, anyway?
- Willow Rosenberg: 1430! Buffy, you kicked ass...! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited.
- [Buffy has Spike pinned down and is about to stake him]
- Spike: Willow!
- Buffy Summers: You took Willow.
- Spike: You do me now, you'll never find the little witch.
- Joyce Summers: Willow's a witch?
- Buffy Summers: And Xander?
- Spike: Him, too.
- Joyce Summers: Wait, Xander's a witch?
- [last lines]
- [Spike singing along with the radio playing My Way]
- Spike: I plan each charted course / Each little step along the highway / And more, much more than this / I did it my way.
- Buffy Summers: Yeah, either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe...
- Cordelia Chase: You're having too many or's! Pick one!
- Xander Harris: So what are our options?
- Willow Rosenberg: Well, I figure either I refuse to do the spell and he kills us or I do the spell and he kills us.
- Xander Harris: Give me a third option.
- Willow Rosenberg: He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one.
- Xander Harris: Come on. It'll be fun.
- Cordelia Chase: I don't know. I just thought we were gonna do something, you know, classy?
- Xander Harris: What's classier than bowling?
- Cordelia Chase: Apart from everything ever? Let's see...