- Buffy Summers: What are you doing here?
- Spike: Look...
- Buffy Summers: Five words or less.
- Spike: Out, for, a, walk... bitch.
- Rupert Giles: It appears to be paranormal in origin.
- Willow Rosenberg: How can you tell?
- Rupert Giles: Well, it's so shiny.
- Spike: Oh, yeah, okay. Let me guess. You won't kill me? Ooh! The whole "crowd-pleasing threats and swagger" routine. Outstandingly original. You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied...? You know,
- [chuckles]
- Spike: I really hope so, 'cause God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard. And-And I never really liked you anyway, and-and you have stupid hair.
- Anya: [to a customer who just finished her purchase] Please go.
- Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called. They want me to tell you that, "Please go" just got replaced with, "Have a nice day."
- Anya: But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?
- Xander: No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace it.
- Rupert Giles: And, Xander? There's too many of them, people. A-A-And they all seem to want things.
- Xander Harris: I hear ya. Stay British. You'll be okay.
- Anya: You're out of crystal balls. Those babies are *really* popular with the amateurs. Better restock and raise the price 10%. Make it 15.
- Rupert Giles: Anya...
- Anya: Your cash register looks like squirrels nest in it.
- Rupert Giles: Anya...
- Anya: And the Hand of Glory packs some serious raw power. Better institute a 7-day background check for...
- Rupert Giles: [shouts] Anya...!
- [normal]
- Rupert Giles: Would you like a job?
- Anya: Okay.
- Rupert Giles: Good. Then we can talk shop... tomorrow.
- Anya: Okay... boss.
- Willow Rosenberg: [displaying an item she's just wrapped] Does this look right to you?
- Anya: Sure. If you wrapped it with your feet.
- Dawn Summers: [from outside of closed bedroom] What are you doing?
- Buffy Summers: My boyfriend. Go away.
- Buffy Summers: We need to find out who's making my mom sick and how.
- Willow Rosenberg: Then what?
- Buffy Summers: Then I hunt them, find them, and kill them.
- [first lines]
- Monk: [translated] It's coming. It's going to kill us! Our lives aren't important. We have to protect the key.
- Joyce Summers: Buffy, I know you're concerned, okay? But don't be. I'm still the mom, which means I get to worry about you two which is a good thing because you're a Vampire Slayer
- [to Dawn]
- Joyce Summers: and you, you are my little pum'kin belly.
- Dawn Summers: Mom, that's like my kid name.
- Joyce Summers: So I can't be retro?
- Buffy Summers: Did you ever have any names for me?
- Joyce Summers: No. I think you were always just Buffy.
- Dawn Summers: I got some names for ya.
- [after a long first day, the last customer leaves the Magic Box causing the bell to ring]
- Rupert Giles: Would someone *please* rip that bloody bell off its hinges?
- Xander Harris: Would that involve moving?
- Willow Rosenberg: My feet are numb.
- Xander Harris: I'll see your numbness and I'll raise you a lower-back pain.
- Rupert Giles: I think I liked it better when demons would just crash in here and tear the place apart. Just seemed so much simpler.
- [last lines]
- Dawn Summers: Buffy?
- Buffy Summers: Yeah?
- Dawn Summers: What's wrong with Mom?
- Buffy Summers: I don't know.
- Monk: You cannot abandon.
- Buffy Summers: I didn't ask for this. I don't even know- what is she?
- Monk: Human. Now human. And helpless. Please. She's an innocent in this. She needs you.
- Buffy Summers: She's not my sister.
- Monk: She doesn't know that.
- Biker Vamp: I've always wanted to kill the Slayer.
- Buffy Summers: And I've always wanted piano lessons. So, really, who's surprised we have all this unexpressed rage...? But honestly, I think I'm expressing mine better. Tell you what... You find yourself a good anger management class... and I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart.
- Dawn Summers: I tell you I have this theory? It goes where, you're the one who's not *my* sister, 'cause mom adopted you from a shoe box full of baby howler monkeys, and never told you 'cause it could hurt your delicate baby feelings.
- Buffy Summers: That's your theory?
- Dawn Summers: Explains your fashion sense... and smell.
- Willow Rosenberg: I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for Dawn, 'cause she's, you know, a big spaz.
- Buffy Summers: I just had a bad day.
- Dawn Summers: Well, join the club.
- Buffy Summers: Can I be president?
- Dawn Summers: I'm president... You could be the janitor.
- Monk: [as they flee from Glory] Stop. Please.
- Buffy Summers: No. We have to keep going.
- Monk: [collapsing on the ground, against a fence] My journey is done, I think.
- Buffy Summers: Don't get metaphor-y on me. We're going.
- Monk: Uh--you have to--the Key. You must protect the Key.
- Buffy Summers: Fine. We can protect the Key together, okay? Just far, far from here.
- Monk: Many more die... if you don't keep it safe.
- Buffy Summers: How? What is it?
- Monk: The Key is energy. It's a portal. It opens the door.
- Buffy Summers: The... the Dagon Sphere?
- Monk: No. For centuries, it had no form at all. My brethren, its only keepers. Then... the... abomination... found us. We had to hide the Key. Gave it form, molded it flesh, made it human and sent it to you.
- Buffy Summers: Dawn.
- Monk: She's the Key.
- Buffy Summers: You put that in my house?
- Monk: We knew the Slayer would protect.
- Buffy Summers: My memories, my mom's...
- Monk: We built them.
- Buffy Summers: Then unbuild them. This is my life you're...
- Monk: [coughing] You cannot abandon.
- Buffy Summers: I didn't ask for this. I don't even know--what is she?
- Monk: Human. Now human... and helpless. Please. She's an innocent... in this. She needs you.
- Buffy Summers: She's not my sister.
- Monk: She doesn't know that.
- [dies]