Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)
School Hard (1997)
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Buffy Summers
Photos
Quotes
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Xander Harris : It's no biggie. You'll have a nice soiree. Your parents will love it. As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine.
Buffy Summers : Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen.
Xander Harris : What do you mean? Nothing's gonna happen.
Willow Rosenberg : Not until some dummy says, "As long as nothing bad happens."
Buffy Summers : It's the ultimate jinx.
Willow Rosenberg : What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?
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Buffy Summers : Do we really need weapons for this?
Spike : I just like them. They make me feel all manly.
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Spike : So. How 'bout this Slayer? Is she tough?
[Cut to Buffy's room. She's standing at her mirror, trying to brush her hair]
Buffy Summers : Ow!
Joyce Summers : What's wrong?
Buffy Summers : I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse, and it's neither creamy nor rinsey.
Joyce Summers : Life is hard, dear.
Buffy Summers : Don't I know it.
[studies her image critically]
Buffy Summers : Is that a split end?
Joyce Summers : I got the mail.
Buffy Summers : Good.
Joyce Summers : Which included a reminder notice about Parent-Teacher night. Thursday.
Buffy Summers : [in trepidation] That's good.
Joyce Summers : Which you were planning on telling me about...?
Buffy Summers : Oh, for... the last two weeks.
Joyce Summers : Uh-huh. So, what do you think your teachers are gonna tell me about you?
Buffy Summers : Well, I think they'll all agree that I always bring a pen to class, ready to absorb the knowledge.
Joyce Summers : And, uh, this absorption rate? How is it reflected in your homework and test scores?
Buffy Summers : What can you really tell about a person from a test score?
Joyce Summers : Whether or not she's ever going out with her friends again.
[Buffy blanches]
Joyce Summers : Well, I'm looking forward to meeting your new principal.
Buffy Summers : Won't that be something?
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[after watching Buffy slay a vampire, Spike comes out of the shadows, slowly clapping his hands]
Spike : Nice work, love.
Buffy Summers : Who are you?
Spike : You'll find out on Saturday.
Buffy Summers : What happens on Saturday?
Spike : I kill you.
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Buffy Summers : We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you might show?
Angel : You said you weren't sure if you were going.
Buffy Summers : I was being cool. Come on. You've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?
Willow Rosenberg : Wow. Two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still like four-hundred dates with four-hundred different...
[Buffy looks at her and she looks at a weapon on the table]
Willow Rosenberg : Why do they call it a mace?
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[first lines]
Principal Snyder : A lot of educators tell students, "Think of your principal as your pal." I say, "Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner." Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school?
[Sheila and Buffy look at one another]
Principal Snyder : Well, it is quite a match between you two. On the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel.
Sheila Martini : I didn't stab no one with a trowel. They were pruning shears.
Principal Snyder : On the other hand, Sheila has never burnt down a school building.
Buffy Summers : Well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said it-it coulda been mice.
Principal Snyder : Mice.
Buffy Summers : Mice that were smoking?
Principal Snyder : The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight-starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting.
Sheila Martini : [smirking] What does the winner get?
Principal Snyder : Expelled.
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Rupert Giles : Spike. That's what the other vampire called him? That's a little unorthodox, isn't it?
Buffy Summers : Maybe he's Reform.
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Buffy Summers : La vâche... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?
Willow Rosenberg : No, but... You said, "The cow should touch me from Thursday."
Buffy Summers : Maybe that's what I was feeling.
Willow Rosenberg : Then you said it wrong.
Buffy Summers : Oh, je stink.
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Spike : I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.
Buffy Summers : No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.
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[trying to keep the principal away from her mother at Parent-Teacher night]
Principal Snyder : Was that your mother?
Buffy Summers : Here.
[spills lemonade on purpose]
Buffy Summers : Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but, um, she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English.
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Buffy Summers : Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a... third unmeshable thing.
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[Trapped by vampires in a school room]
Buffy Summers : You can't go outside. They'll kill you.
Principal Snyder : You don't tell me. I tell you.
Buffy Summers : They will kill everybody in this room. Nobody goes out, nobody comes in until I say so. Do you hear me?
Principal Snyder : Who do you think you are?
Buffy Summers : I'm the one that knows how to stop them.
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Buffy Summers : You shouldn't have come here.
Spike : No. I messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored.
