- Ted Machlin: I was gonna spend the next hour being so clever and charming you'd agree to have dinner with me. Can we pretend I was and you will?
- Kelly Garrett: [smiles] Let's pretend.
- John Bosley: I'm telling you, with a mother like that, Machlin could be the most inept burglar in history and he'd still wind up with a fortune.
- Kris Munroe: [using a thick fake Swedish accent] I am so poor now. Untill I find my fifth husband, what do I do?
- Kris Munroe: I mean, it's just crazy. Five years without an injury. All of a sudden a murder, then an attempted murder, one right after the other.
- John Bosley: Yes, and don't forget the attempted decapitation of yours truly.
- Denny Railsback: [aiming a gun at Machlin] You know, I had nightmares about you, hanging outside that window like a big black spider. But no more.