Clueless (TV Series)

City Beautification (1996)

Michael Lerner: Mel Horowitz

Quotes 

• Mel Horowitz : [regarding his voluntary work]  Superb flyer. Concise, emotional. You did a great job.

  Josh : All right, great, do you think it will help getting him elected?

  Mel Horowitz : Not a prayer. The guy's unelectable. But don't get me wrong. I like that you're volunteering. It's good to take up a cause while you still have ideals.

  Cher Horowitz : [entering, groaning]  Oh.

  [sighs] 

  Cher Horowitz : It was awful. I felt like I was on a chain gang without the ankle bracelets.

  Josh : [scoffs]  This does not surprise me. You know, it's hard to picture you taking up a cause that's not yourself.

  Cher Horowitz : Excuse me, but I have donated many cute little Italian outfits to the Goodwill.

  Josh : You needed the extra closet space.

  Cher Horowitz : [scoffs]  Well, how about when I boycotted Vapes?

  Josh : They make you break out.

  Cher Horowitz : [scoffs]  I volunteered to help save the rain forest.

  Josh : [smirks]  Oh, and that had nothing to do with Billy Baldwin speaking at the fund-raiser?

  Cher Horowitz : [tries:]  The fact that Billy and I are so deeply concerned about the environment...

  [he scoffs] 

  Mel Horowitz : [interrupting]  All right, you two, I would like to get some work done here. Cner, you got some homework?

  Cher Horowitz : Yes, Daddy.

  Mel Horowitz : Josh, you wanna be a lawyer one day, right?

  Josh : Yes, Sir.

  Mel Horowitz : Then go get my briefcase from the car.

• Cher Horowitz : You see, I was supposed to clean up this park, which really bummed me, but... then they ran out of money and we couldn't clean up the park... and that actually bummed me even more.

  Mel Horowitz : Oh, what do they need money for?

  Cher Horowitz : I don't know. Like rakes and bags and stuff.

  Mel Horowitz : Well, that couldn't cost much.

  Cher Horowitz : Yeah, but they also need a bunch of people to help clean up.

  Mel Horowitz : Picking up garbage, how hard can that be?

  Cher Horowitz : Well, there's no supervisor.

  Mel Horowitz : Supervisor? Oh, I don't suppose there's anybody you know who's good at organizing people, is there?

  Cher Horowitz : [catches breath]  Oh, you mean, like Mel Gibson? In that movie where the Irish won't fight back against those other people, but he leads them into battle, and then he gets his guts torn out with a meat-hook?

  Mel Horowitz : [doesn't really know about popular culture]  Right.

  Cher Horowitz : I just got a great idea.

  [blows him a kiss] 

  Cher Horowitz : Thank you, Daddy!