Dad's Army (TV Series)

My British Buddy (1973)

James Beck: Pte. Joe Walker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Capt. George Mainwaring : Now, I want you to tell me, in your own words, exactly what happened on Saturday night. And we'll start with you, Sergeant.

  Sgt. Arthur Wilson : Right, sir. Well, when the, er, when the fight started, I thought that I'd better get out the way, so I dived under the table.

  Capt. George Mainwaring : Yes...

  Pte. Joe Walker : That was after he thumped the American soldier.

  Capt. George Mainwaring : [writing]  'After he thumped... ' What?

  Sgt. Arthur Wilson : I'm sorry, sir, but you see, I only gave him a couple of taps. He'd been getting on my nerves all evening. He was being far too familiar with Mrs Pike.

  Pte. Frank Pike : [to Mainwaring]  Mum was furious. When Uncle Arthur got home, she wouldn't let him in, and he had to spend all night in the coal shed.

  Sgt. Arthur Wilson : Frank!

  Capt. George Mainwaring : What about you, Jones? That's a very nasty bump on your forehead. Which American did that?

  LCpl. Jack Jones : None of them, sir. It was Mrs Fox.

  Capt. George Mainwaring : Mrs Fox?

  LCpl. Jack Jones : Yes, she didn't like my attitude to one of the Yanks.

  Capt. George Mainwaring : What were you doing?

  LCpl. Jack Jones : I was banging his head on the floor. I had him in a deadly, Dervish, death grip, sir, and I was...

  [he waves his arm in demonstration] 

  Capt. George Mainwaring : Yes, alright, alright. Frazer?

  Pte. James Frazer : Well, sir, I just gave this fella a wee bit of a push. No more, no more, mind you, no more, a wee bit of a push. He knocked a whiskey out of my hand, no decent Scot will stand for that. It was just unfortunate that he happened to collide with a bottle that Joe here was holding.

  Pte. Joe Walker : Ah, yes, well, I can explain that, sir. You see, when the fight started, I thought I'd calm things down with a bit of a sing-song, you see. So, I was conducting away like this

  [waving his arms around] 

  Pte. Joe Walker : and it just so happened that I had a bottle in each hand.

  Capt. George Mainwaring : What about you, Pike? I'm sure you didn't do anything violent.

  Pte. Frank Pike : I must confess, I did, sir. I lost my temper. It was those two Americans, they kept on clinging to my Ivy. They wouldn't let go, you see. And mum wouldn't do anything about it. So I thought it was about time I stood up for myself. I decided to be a man.

  Capt. George Mainwaring : What did you do?

  Pte. Frank Pike : I walked straight up to him, and I went...

  [he puts his hands up in front of his nose, sticks his tongue out, and blows a raspberry] 

  Pte. Frank Pike : He chased me around the table twice, until Mr Godfrey hit him over the head with a chair.

  Capt. George Mainwaring : Godfrey?

  Pte. Charles Godfrey : Well, sir, he'd trodden on my sister Dolly's upside down cakes.