- Elaine Besbriss: [stuck doing composite sketches] Someone asked me out! This man has been after me for months, and I said no, I wanted to get my sleep. Next time, I'm going to say yes. I mean, you can't keep someone waiting forever, now can you?
- Constable Benton Fraser: Well, no. That would be unfair.
- Det. Ray Vecchio: You want to concentrate here, Elaine? Every sketch you do looks like Fraser in drag.
- Det. Ray Vecchio: I am asking you for your help.
- Dominatrix: Eat glass!
- Det. Ray Vecchio: All right, that's it!
- Constable Benton Fraser: Ray! Ray, Ray, Ray.
- Det. Ray Vecchio: I'm talking to you, one human being to another.
- Dominatrix: You have a very high opinion of yourself.
- Constable Benton Fraser: [while Ray fumes] Madame Defarge, Detective Vecchio and I are on the trail of a particularly brutal killer, and we'd be most appreciative of any assistance you could give us.
- Dominatrix: Make him say please.
- Constable Benton Fraser: Ray?
- Det. Ray Vecchio: I'm not gonna say it!
- Constable Benton Fraser: Ray...
- Det. Ray Vecchio: No!
- Constable Benton Fraser: Ray...
- Det. Ray Vecchio: NO!
- Constable Benton Fraser: Ray...!
- Det. Ray Vecchio: [seething] PLEASE.
- Dominatrix: Pretty please!
- Det. Ray Vecchio: That's it!
- Janice DeLuca: You wanna die, kid?
- Constable Benton Fraser: You can't shoot her.
- Janice DeLuca: Watch me.
- Constable Benton Fraser: No, no, no. That's a nine-millimeter Beretta. It carries a fifteen-round clip. You've already shot fourteen times.
- Janice DeLuca: Bull.
- Constable Benton Fraser: No, you have, honestly. Follow this through, you fired, let's see... six in the incinerator, seven in the corridors, and one just...
- Janice DeLuca: All right, all right!
- Constable Benton Fraser: So what this basically means is that you have one bullet left, and then you're defenseless. Now I don't think you can afford to use it on her, so she's going to walk away now.
- Christina Nichols: No, I'm not!
- Constable Benton Fraser: [rolling his eyes] Have you ever said something that you truly regretted?
- Det. Ray Vecchio: All right, Miss Naugahyde, you and me outside!
- 'Madame Defarge': Touch me and I sue you blind!
- Det. Ray Vecchio: Call your attorney.
- 'Madame Defarge': I *am* an attorney. Half the people here are attorneys!
- [other patrons wave]
- Masochist: I'm a dentist.
- Det. Ray Vecchio: Oh, yeah, big surprise.
- Louis Gardino: This is completely unfair. We make one mistake and we're on security detail.
- Jack Huey: Louis, did I tell you to open your big mouth? Did I tell you to swear on your honour the matches didn't exist?
- Louis Gardino: Well, at least I got a good suit.
- Jack Huey: [staring at Gardino's loud jacket] You own that?
- Louis Gardino: What, you think they rent things like this?
- Jack Huey: I think I don't want to stand next to you.