Due South (TV Series)

Pizzas and Promises (1994)

Paul Gross: Constable Benton Fraser

Quotes 

• Fraser : [on Diefenbaker's trail]  Stupid rookie mistake.

  Ray Vecchio : What do you mean?

  Fraser : These last two blocks, I've been tracking a Lhasa Apso.

  Ray Vecchio : You've been tracking a Lhasa Apso?

  Fraser : I know. If word of this gets back to the territories I'll never live it down.

  Ray Vecchio : Mounties can be so cruel.

  Fraser : You can't imagine.

• Fraser : When I was a young scout, anxious to earn my ecology badge, I insinuated myself into a hunting party to catch a baby seal killer.

  Ray Vecchio : What happened?

  Fraser : Well, I was clubbed repeatedly, Ray.

• Fraser : [Fraser has jumped from the top of a building onto a stolen, speeding car]  Please stop immediately. This is not your automobile!

• Ray Vecchio : Fraser, there are hundreds of places that make pizza. What I'm looking for here is the perfect pizza at the perfect price.

  Fraser : Which is?

  Ray Vecchio : Free. And that's exactly what this'll be in 34 seconds. There's no way he can get a pizza here from Michigan Avenue in under a half-hour.

  Fraser : You mean you're using some promotional ploy in order to get something for nothing?

  Ray Vecchio : Welcome to the United States of America, Fraser.

• [last lines] 

  Fraser : Twenty-nine minutes, Ray.

  Ray Vecchio : Okay, okay, I don't need a countdown!

  Lenny Milano : Okay, this is the 1200 block. It's got to be around here someplace.

  Ray Vecchio : Can you believe these skinflints? They could've just ordered from across the street.

  Fraser : Maybe they wanted the perfect pizza at the perfect price.

  Ray Vecchio : Sixteen bucks? I'm not payin'! Your job, kid, you pay.

  Lenny Milano : Why should I pay? You're driving.

  Fraser : And I'm afraid I left my wallet in the lake, Ray.

  Ray Vecchio : What about him?

  [Diefenbaker barks] 

  Fraser : Oh, I don't like to touch his savings account.

  Lenny Milano : Just tell them you couldn't find the building.

  Ray Vecchio : Oh, yeah, that'll work.

  Lenny Milano : Worked on you.

• Francesca Vecchio : So where are we going now?

  Ray Vecchio : You're going home! Did you see who it was?

  Fraser : No, they took off before we got here.

  Ray Vecchio : I say we go to the dealership and arrest the whole damn bunch.

  Fraser : Well, that would be an injustice, Ray.

  Ray Vecchio : You wanna see an injustice? Take a look at my suit!

  Francesca Vecchio : Look at my blanket!

  Ray Vecchio : Shut up!

• Ray Vecchio : First you want to go undercover, now I let you talk me into this thing?

  Fraser : We have to catch them in the act, Ray.

  Ray Vecchio : Yeah, well, you see, here's the tricky thing about sting operations. They require money, resources, and a lot more manpower than you, me, and a wolf.

  Fraser : That's why we have our third man.

  [Ray scoffs] 

  Francesca Vecchio : [into microphone]  Can you read me?

  Fraser : Loud and clear. Oh, and once again, I'm terribly sorry about the confusion. I thought you understood my intentions.

  Francesca Vecchio : Oh, don't worry. Really, I've forgotten all about it.

  [walks up to a random couple] 

  Francesca Vecchio : Let me ask you something. If a guy asks if you're busy tonight, he's asking you out, right?

  Car Shopper : Yeah, I... think so.

  Francesca Vecchio : Yeah, so would I.

• Fraser : You know, Lenny, I'm a man who believes in destiny. But it's a destiny of your own choosing. Just because a trail leads one way doesn't mean you can't cut your own path.

  Lenny Milano : Looks like mine leads right over a cliff.

  Fraser : Cliffs are for climbing, Lenny. That's why God gave us grappling hooks.

• Fraser : I'm afraid you'll have to leave. This could become dangerous.

  Francesca Vecchio : [pulling out a bottle of wine]  Have you got a corkscrew? Oh, that's all right! It's a twist-off.

  Fraser : I don't mean to sound ingracious, and it's not that I don't appreciate the offer, but...

  Francesca Vecchio : Hot hors d'oeuvres?

  Ray Vecchio : [over the walkie-talkie]  I'm suffocating and you're serving him a buffet?

  Francesca Vecchio : [grabbing Fraser's walkie-talkie]  Stay out of this, gelding!

  Ray Vecchio : Stallion!

  Francesca Vecchio : Yeah, in your dreams.