The Dukes of Hazzard (TV Series)

Baa, Baa White Sheep (1980)

Catherine Bach: Daisy Duke

Quotes 

• Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [halts Dixie in a cloud of dust]  All right, Daisy. Hold it right there. I've got you this time.

  Daisy Duke : Oh, Rosco, you just *get* out of my way. I'm on my way to Miss Drucilla's to get something I want before somebody else gets it.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Well, you should have thought of that before you come *zipping* through my brand-new hospital zone. It says fifteen miles per hour. Now you can read that, I can read that, and anybody...

  [attention distracted by oncoming vehicle] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : can read that...

  [voice trails off] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Halt!

  [big black car just like Boss' big white car] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Boss! Good news! Good news! This is Catch-the-Dukes day!

  [chuckles] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Daisy's the second one I caught today. Uh... uh... Boss, uh... what did you do? You painted your car black, here. And, and you got a new black suit?

  Daisy Duke : Never mind his suit and his car, Rosco. That there is a phony hospital sign, and it's against the law.

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : Phony sign?

  Daisy Duke : Yeah.

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : Is that a fact?

  [Rosco mutters something] 

  Daisy Duke : Yeah.

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : Sheriff, if there indeed be no hospital in the immediate vicinity, it appears you're using unfair chicanery to achieve nefarious ends.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [likes the sound of that]  Right!

  [chuckles:] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Coo-coo-coo!

  Daisy Duke : Yeah, well, if that means playing dirty pool, that's par for the course, ain't it, Rosco?

  [hands on her hips] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Hey, hey, hey, everything is fair in love and war, especially with the Dukes. Coo! Ain't that right, Flash?

  [the bassett hound is fast asleep on the passenger seat] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : He's just acting a little *casual* now. But he'd better agree if he knows which side his dog biscuits are buttered on.

  [snickers] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Hey, Boss, Flash and I, were gonna escort Daisy, personally, down to her cell.

  [grabbed Daisy by her slender suntanned arm] 

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : Sheriff, you really ought to relinquish her from custody.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [loves big ominous-sounding words]  Ooh, I'm gonna do that, too, I'm just gonna relinquish... hmm... mmm... Relinquish? Boss, that means "let go?"

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : Mm.

  Daisy Duke : [exuberant cry]  Yahoo!

  [jumps onto her Jeep Dixie] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [gingerly reaching out to the man he mustakenly thinks is Boss Hogg]  Uh... uh... are you feeling okay?

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : I feel fine.

  Daisy Duke : Rosco, don't you ask silly questions. Boss, thank you so much.

  [hugs him, and as Abe chuckles merrily, starts Dixie's engine] 

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : That's all right, honey.

  [chuckles benignly] 

  Daisy Duke : Thank you.

  [drives off] 

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : [waves after her]  Bless you.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [still hasn't cottoned on]  You know what you just did? You just blessed a Duke.

  honest Abe Lincoln Hogg : And I'll bless you, too... when you take down that unauthorized and deceitful sign.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [stammers]  Ooh ooh ooh...

• Daisy Duke : [after she falls into a bog while chasing Benny the Quill, he redeems himself by helping Luke drag her out]  ... I hear them fancy places charge $50 for a mud-bath.

  Luke Duke : [DELETED LINE]  Same time tomorrow, then?

  [they laugh]