- Dr. Kerry Weaver: You hit another doctor?
- Michael Gallant: Yeah, Dr. Pratt.
- Dr. Kerry Weaver: Oh. Well in that case, I'll overlook it.
- [Abby takes a dead fish out of the fish tank]
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: Time of death: 7:36 AM
- Dr. John Carter: Aw, your fish coded?
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: Yep, third time this week. Every afternoon I restock the little pond here, and every morning it's like the Exxon Valdez came through.
- Dr. John Carter: You can get somebody else to do this for you.
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: Well, I'm committed.
- Dr. John Carter: Committed fish killer.
- [Abby drops the fish into Carter's coffee cup]
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: I was hall monitor for a day in 5th grade, and they fired me for selling hall passes to the other kids.
- Dr. Kerry Weaver: Well, I'm sure you've matured since.
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: Not that much, really.
- Dr. Susan Lewis: When you're waiting on a patient's results, it's not necessary for you to boff that patient's mother in the storage closet.
- Dr. Luka Kovac: Her workup is not complete.
- Dr. Susan Lewis: But her mother's is, so unless you have unusual stamina, there's no reason to keep her here.
- Stella Willis: Hey, you know Howdy Doody? You look like Howdy Doody.
- Dr. John Carter: Thanks.
- Stella Willis: I hate Howdy Doody.
- Marlene: Are you really a good nurse?
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: [Nods] I'm technically proficient, with certain attitude issues.
- Dr. John Carter: Abby said it was a good time.
- Dr. Susan Lewis: Don't worry, she hasn't cheated on you since that stripper named Thor.
- Dr. John Carter: I can be concerned, right?
- Dr. Susan Lewis: Don't be. He was wearing an American flag thong.
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: And the moral of the story is?
- Dr. Luka Kovac: Never sleep with a patient's mother.
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: At least not until the labs are back.
- [after seeing Dr. Weaver with a syringe]
- Dr. Susan Lewis: You don't think she could be...?
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: No chance.
- Dr. Susan Lewis: That's what it looked like.
- Nurse Abby Lockhart: Weaver? The straightest gay woman since Janet Reno? I don't think so.