Entourage (TV Series)

The Bat Mitzvah (2005)

Jerry Ferrara: Turtle

Quotes 

• Johnny Drama : Do you know how much food is gonna be at this thing? You eating now would be like jerking off an hour before fucking a supermodel.

  Turtle : If I was fucking a supermodel, I would jerk off. That way I can go all night.

• Turtle : It's like getting mad at the bull for giving you the horns, when you shouldn't have been in the ring in the first place.

• [seeing E all dressed up to woo Sloan] 

  Vincent Chase : Looks like we're headed for another E romance novel. Get your tissues ready, guys.

  Turtle : Seriously E, if this one breaks your heart, just kill yourself so we don't have to hear about it.

  Johnny Drama : I'll have the Barry Manilow CD ready for you.

  Eric Murphy : Fuck you guys.