- Tootie Ramsey: Natalie swore it wasn't that one.
- Natalie Green: I didn't swear.
- Tootie Ramsey: You put your hand on the bible.
- Natalie Green: It was a cook book, I swore on chicken gumbo!
- Jo Polniaczek: [Jo's in the shower after Blair] AHHH! Blair, there's no hot water!
- Blair Warner: Now we're even.
- Tootie Ramsey: [Blair gave directions for a group of guys to wait for Jo, who's in the shower, in their room] Top of the stairs, turn right, first door on your left? Blair, our room isn't the first door...
- Blair Warner: Three, two, one.
- Jo Polniaczek: HEY, WHOA!
- Blair Warner: Now I'm ahead.
- Jo Polniaczek: [talking to the computer] I grabbed the shower curtain before they could see anything. Luckily the flamingos were in all the right places.
- Edna Garrett: What's Jo yelling about up there?
- Blair Warner: Oh, she's upset because somebody used up all the hot water.
- Edna Garrett: No hot water? That's impossible. It would have had to been running for...
- Blair Warner: [maliciously] Hours.
- Edna Garrett: Blair?
- Natalie Green: You are so wicked!
- Natalie Green: [Blair's been trying to psych Jo out, planning her revenge in Jo's presence] Blair, would you mind if I took one little peek? It would mean so much to me.
- Natalie Green: [Blair shows her what she wrote and Natalie's stunned] WHOA!
- Natalie Green: [noting Jo's annoyed look] Sorry. She's such a pro.
- Natalie Green: [Blair takes the paper with her plan on it and goes upstairs with Natalie following her] Have you given any thought to the logistics? I don't think they can send that through the mail.
- Natalie Green: [after Tootie seemingly resolves Jo and Blair's issue] She's after your job.
- Edna Garrett: She can have it, the pay is terrible.
- Tootie Ramsey: Here Blair, I fixed your crown. Just took some wire and some odds and ends.
- Tootie Ramsey: Oh, thanks Tootie.
- Tootie Ramsey: The rubies were the hardest to replace. It's hard to find something that looks like rubies.
- Blair Warner: [taking the crown] Hmm, they look just like... Tootie, they're jawbreakers.
- Tootie Ramsey: Yeah, but see how close you had to look. You know they started out a lot larger then that so to get them down to just the right size I had to...
- Blair Warner: Please. I have to wear it.
- Tootie Ramsey: There's no way she's gonna lose. I saw her on her way to the gym and she looked terrific.
- Jo Polniaczek: Gym? Whatya mean she's going to the gym? What she going to the gym for, didn't she get my note?
- Tootie Ramsey: What note?
- Jo Polniaczek: The contest was moved to the auditorium. I left the note on the bed. Come on, she had to have gotten the message.
- Blair Warner: [comes in all disheveled for the second time] Oh, Jo!
- Tootie Ramsey: [trying not to laugh] I don't think she got the message.
- Blair Warner: I showed up at the gym at seven o'clock. I didn't see anyone else dressed as Helen of Troy. I naturally assumed the others had dropped out when they heard I'd entered the contest. So at halftime I walked out onto the court, expecting to be crowned Queen of Troy. I was wrestled to the ground by Louie, the Langley Lion.
- Jo Polniaczek: [realizing she had forgotten to tell Blair about the contest] Blair...
- Blair Warner: Then he picked me up in his paws and tossed me in the air to the cheer of Go Lions, Go.