Fawlty Towers (TV Series)

The Germans (1975)

Andrew Sachs: Manuel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Manuel : Ohh, he hit me on the head.

  Major Gowen : No! You hit HIM on the head. You naughty moose!

  German Guest : How ever did they win?

• Manuel : [practicing his English while cleaning behind and beneath the front desk]  How are you, sir? You see, I speak English well. I learn it from a book... Hello... I am English... Helloooo...

  [Manuel continues as Major walks into the room] 

  Manuel : [unseen]  How are you, sir?... I can speak English.

  [Major looks at the moose head on the desk, thinking it's talking to him, and turns away astonished] 

  Manuel : [popping up for a moment and spotting the major]  Ah, hello, Major. How are you today?

  [Manuel returns beneath the front desk] 

  Major Gowen : [Major turns to look nervously at the moose head, not spotting Manuel]  Well, buh, buh, buh, I-I-I'm fine, thank you.

  Manuel : [back to reciting is lessons]  Is a beautiful day today.

  Major Gowen : Is it? Oh-oh-oh, yes, yes, I suppose it is.

  Manuel : Yes, I can speak English... I learned it from a book.

  Major Gowen : Did you? Did you really?

• Basil Fawlty : Look, uh, go and get me a hammer.

  Manuel : Uh, como?

  Basil Fawlty : Hammer.

  Manuel : Hammer, oh... Oh, hamma sandwich!

  Basil Fawlty : Oh, do I have to go through this every time? Look, a HAMMER.

  Manuel : My hamster?

  Basil Fawlty : No, not your hamster. How could I knock a nail in with your hamster? Well... I could try, no, it doesn't... No, I'll get it. You come here and tidy. You know - tidy?

  Manuel : Oh, tidy. Si.

  Basil Fawlty : [walking away]  Yes, I'll get hkhammer and hkhit you on the hkhead with it hkhard.

• Mrs. Wilson : [after Basil has explained that the earlier bell was the burglar alarm, not the fire bell]  Look, how on earth can you expect us to tell which bell is which?

  [Basil sighs in exasperation] 

  Mrs. Wilson : We haven't heard them yet, have we?

  [Looks round at the other guests] 

  Basil Fawlty : You want to hear them? Right, suits me! Here's the burglar alarm.

  [Turns it on] 

  Major Gowen : Ought we to catch them first?

  Basil Fawlty : There *aren't* any.

  Major Gowen : Then why does the alarm keep going...

  Basil Fawlty : [sighs]  Alright, got that? Right.

  [Turns the alarm off] 

  Mrs. Wilson : What's happening now?

  Basil Fawlty : [Ignoring her]  Now, here's the fire bell, right?

  [Turns it on] 

  Basil Fawlty : It's a completely different sound, listen.

  [the guests start to leave] 

  Basil Fawlty : Well, where are you going?

  Mrs. Wilson : Well, there is a drill, isn't there?

  Basil Fawlty : [Jumping up and down in exasperation]  No, no, no-no-no! This is so you can hear the bell so you know in a moment when I *ring* the bell! What are you doing? Will you come back?

  Two women : We're going outside.

  Basil Fawlty : No! Look, just listen to it, you old fools!

  Two women : What?

  Basil Fawlty : Listen to it!

  [Manuel enters, gesturing frantically] 

  Manuel : Fire, fire, everybody out, please...

  Basil Fawlty : NO!

  [Manuel continues to herd everyone out] 

  Basil Fawlty : Will you shut up?

  Manuel : Out...

  Basil Fawlty : [shouting over him]  Look, will you shut up?

  Manuel : Is fire...

  Basil Fawlty : Is *not* fire, is only bell!

  [Manuel continues to protest. Polly start to head upstairs] 

  Basil Fawlty : Where are *you* going?

  Polly Shearman : Upstairs.

  Polly Shearman : There isn't a drill yet! I'm just showing them what the bell sounds like!