Frasier (TV Series)
The Ring Cycle (2002)
John Mahoney: Martin Crane
Quotes
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Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, Frasier, thank you so much for dinner.
Daphne Moon : Yes, it was wonderful.
Dr. Frasier Crane : It was my pleasure. Dad, don't you have something to add?
Martin Crane : [as he sits] I already said thank you for dinner. What am I supposed to do, get down on my knees and kowtow to your fancy-ass American Express card?
Dr. Frasier Crane : No, I was referring to the gift we have for them.
Martin Crane : Oh! Right, I forgot about that. Yeah, and thanks for dinner, Fraizh, it really was excellent. I didn't think I'd like beef cheeks.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, yes! Dad, give them the gift.
[Martin gives them the gift]
Daphne Moon : This is so exciting, our first wedding present.
[Niles opens it]
Daphne Moon : It's a silver picture frame!
Dr. Niles Crane : Beautiful.
Dr. Frasier Crane : And nota bene, it's been engraved with today's date in order to commemorate your wedding date until your real gift arrives.
Daphne Moon : It's very sweet. Thank you Mr. Crane and Dr. Crane.
Martin Crane : Well, you can't call us that anymore. We're family now.
Daphne Moon : [Realizing] So we are.
[she turns to face Fraiser]
Daphne Moon : Well, thank you... Frasier. Oh, that feels strange.
[Daphne and Frasier share a laugh as he kisses her on the cheek]
Daphne Moon : [she stands up at the same time Martin does] And thank you...
Daphne Moon , Martin Crane : Martin/Dad.
Daphne Moon : Dad.
Martin Crane : Or Martin. Whatever makes you comfortable.
Daphne Moon : Oh, thank you Mr. Crane.
[Daphne kisses Martin on the cheek as they hug]
Martin Crane : Don't mention it.
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Daphne Moon : I'm sorry everyone, but Niles and I, we're already married.
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : What?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Mrs. Moon, I'm afraid it's true. Niles and Daphne are already married, and they were simply trying to spare your feelings.
Roz Doyle : [to Frasier] You knew about Reno?
Dr. Frasier Crane : [caught off guard] I was talking about yesterday. What happened in Reno?
Roz Doyle : They got married yesterday?
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : This is all a lie?
Daphne Moon : No, yesterday was a lie. We eloped last week.
Martin Crane : I thought you had to wait for the license.
Dr. Niles Crane : That's why we went to Reno.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Why didn't you tell us?
Dr. Niles Crane : We thought you'd be insulted.
Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm insulted now! How could you tell Roz and not tell your family?
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : How could you have two weddings without telling your mother about one?
Roz Doyle : How could you cheat Alice out of being a flower girl?
Daphne Moon : We just wanted to be married.
Martin Crane : Hold on, I got a question here.
[Martin opens the door]
Martin Crane : You've been married for a week, how come you're not on your honeymoon?
Daphne Moon : Thank you... Martin.
[Niles and Daphne go to leave]
Dr. Niles Crane : I hope you can all forgive us.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Of course, your happiness that's what's important.
Daphne Moon : This is such a relief. It just felt wrong to start off a marriage with a lie.
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : Um, was the first one at least in front of a minister?
Daphne Moon : Of course!
Dr. Niles Crane : Yes, let's go.
[Daphne and Niles leave]
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Mrs. Gertrude Moon : Why did we all have to be here just to pick up a bloody licence? Couldn't we have met at the church?
Daphne Moon : Mum, we're not going to the church, we're getting married here.
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : You're what?
Dr. Niles Crane : We're having a civil ceremony.
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : Without a minister? Out of the question.
Daphne Moon : Mum...
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : That's enough, Daphne. I am your mother and I will not bear witness to a Godless union.
Martin Crane : Gertrude, I was in favor of a church wedding too, but this is their day, not ours. Maybe we should just let them decide how it's gonna be.
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : If people got to decide things for themselves, no one would go to church.
Judge Anderson : If I may...
Dr. Frasier Crane : [Interrupting the judge] I'll handle this, Your Honour.
Dr. Frasier Crane : [Turns to Mrs. Moon and speaking softly, he makes an emotional plea] Mrs. Moon, you have my personal guarantee that this will not be a Godless union. For if you truly believe in the omniscience and omnipresence of the Lord, then surely are we not always in His presence?
Mrs. Gertrude Moon : [Snapping back adamantly] No! He lives at the church.