- Sam Weir: It's Cindy. She's kind of boring. It's weird hanging out with her friends. And, I mean, all she wants to do is make out and stuff.
- Neal Schweiber: I'd kill to be that bored.
- Lindsay Weir: [about Mr. Rosso] Have you ever looked at him? He's kinda good looking.
- Kim Kelly: Yeah, if you're attracted to guys that look like Jesus.
- Daniel Desario: [about Ken dating Amy, who used to be a hermaphrodite] Does that mean you're gay?
- Ken Miller: I don't know... does it?
- Daniel Desario: [silence] I was joking.
- Ken Miller: Oh...
- Sam Weir: Hey Harris, what kind of presents do you get Judith?
- Harris Trinsky: Judith has very particular tastes. About the only thing she ever wants is scented oils and plenty of time with her man.
- Bill Haverchuck: Mouse Trap! I win!
- Neal Schweiber: Congratulations, Bill. Maybe you can get the school to start a team.