- Leadside: Splendid, then phase 2 is about to be completed: the destruction of Control. There's just one thing that's disturbing me...
- Kelley: What is that, Leadside?
- Leadside: We're traveling at approximately 65 miles an hour, am I correct?
- Norman: Yes.
- Leadside: And we're all here, you Norman, Kelly, and me?
- Kelley: So what's disturbing you?
- Leadside: Who's driving the van?
- Chief: Max, we've taken every precaution. We've even activated maximum security plan Omega.
- Maxwell Smart: [his face brightens] Plan Omega?
- Chief: [nods] And you know how long it's been since we've used that plan.
- Maxwell Smart: That's right, 99. My gosh, we haven't used that plan, since the day that Omega was murdered!
- Maxwell Smart: Leadside, you told me you couldn't walk!
- Leadside: No, I can't walk, but I can run.
- Maxwell Smart: But that's impossible.
- Leadside: No, the injury to my spine is a unique one. As long as I am moving with any velocity, I'm alright, but as soon as I stand still or try to walk, I collapse.
- Chief: Leadside is the most diabolically clever criminal we've ever run across. He's never yet made a threat that he hasn't carried out.
- Maxwell Smart: That's right, Chief. Like the time he stole the Star of India.
- Agent 99: He stole the Star of India?
- Maxwell Smart: Well, he kidnapped Sabu.
- Maxwell Smart: [the computer called ARDVARC has exploded and is losing power] Is there anyone you'd like us to notify?
- ARDVARC: [coughing sound] Yes.
- [another cough]
- ARDVARC: The cigarette machine, in the hall.
- Leadside: No tricks, Mr. Smart, we have to get down to the business at hand: phase three.
- Maxwell Smart: And just how do you propose to phase three me, Leadside? One shot and all those Control agents will come rolling in here like oranges.