Get Smart (TV Series)
Survival of the Fattest (1965)
Karen Steele: Mary 'Jack' Armstrong
Photos
Quotes
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Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : You have become a nuisance, Mr. Smart, and you know what I do with nuisances?
Maxwell Smart : You ignore them and hope they'll go away?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Wrong.
Maxwell Smart : Wrong. You don't ignore them and hope they'll go away?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Wrong.
Maxwell Smart : Wrong again.
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : I dispose of them once and for all.
Maxwell Smart : That was my next guess.
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Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Thank you, eh, mister...
Maxwell Smart : Oh, I'm sorry.
[takes out a calling card]
Maxwell Smart : Bill Banford, president of the Ramid American Oil Company.
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : I've seen Mr. Banford. He's a tall, sixty year old man with grey hair, he was a guest in our hotel once.
Maxwell Smart : Oh.
[takes out another card]
Maxwell Smart : Well how about Fred Lamister, munitions.
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : I think I've seen him.
Maxwell Smart : Oh.
[picks another card]
Maxwell Smart : Harry Schlerb, toy manufacturer?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Well...
Maxwell Smart : Mervin Gribbs, calling card manufacturer?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : I've never met the man.
Maxwell Smart : Ah!
[picks up his glass]
Maxwell Smart : Then meet Mervin Gribbs.
[they clink]
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Chief : Mary, I don't mean to pry, but how did a nice girl like you ever get into this rotten business?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Well Thaddeus, it's a living.
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Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : I've often wondered who painted that picture on the wall behind you. I've never been able to make out the signature.
Maxwell Smart : What picture?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : There.
[when Max turns around, Mary switches the glasses]
Maxwell Smart : Well I'm not quite sure, but I think it probably was the same artist that painted that picture over there in the corner.
[when she turns around, Max switches the glasses back]
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Clever of you to notice. Then he probably was the same artist who's responsible for that picture over the desk.
Maxwell Smart : What picture?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : That one.
Maxwell Smart : Do I have to look?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Yes.
[when Max turns around, Mary pretends to switch the glasses]
Maxwell Smart : Is it my turn?
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Maxwell Smart : Listen, Chief. I don't know what we're gonna do with Mary Jack. There's no prison built that can hold her. She's the strongest, toughest, most vicious opponent I've ever faced in my entire life.
Chief : Hello Mary.
Maxwell Smart : Mary?
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Hello Thaddeus.
Chief : Um, I'm the Chief now.
Mary 'Jack' Armstrong : Oh well that's wonderful! I didn't know you had been promoted.
Chief : Well, of course we couldn't publish it. I tried to write to you, but, well, the only address I had was Care of KAOS.