The Golden Girls (TV Series)

'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas (1986)

Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak

Photos 

Quotes 

• Blanche Devereaux : Did I ever tell you girls I met my husband George on Christmas Eve?

  Rose Nylund : Oh, Blanche! How exciting!

  Blanche Devereaux : Let me tell you just how exciting a Christmas Eve can be. I was home from college on Christmas vacation, when my best friend, Lisa Jane Biedler fixed me up with the most beautiful boy I've ever laid my eyes on.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : George.

  Blanche Devereaux : No, this was Richard Jay Wilde. And believe me, his name said it all! Huh-huh-huh! We must've pulled over on the side of the road five times on our way to that Christmas dance. Ha-hah!

  Rose Nylund : It's always best to drive defensively over the holidays.

  Blanche Devereaux : Anyway, when we finally got to the dance, why, Richard dropped me off, and I turned and ran smack into a man so gorgeous he made Richard Jay Wilde look like a pre-pubescent choirboy.

  Rose Nylund : George.

  Blanche Devereaux : No-no, no. Ernie Willis. Well, Ernie smiled. And the next thing I knew, we were dancing in a local bar. When all of a sudden I heard a deep voice say, "Hm-hm... May I cut in?" Well when I turned, I saw the man I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life with.

  Albert : George.

  Blanche Devereaux : Uh, no. No. Thomas Pennville. Uh-huh. Well, after Thomas and I left...

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Blanche! I could get herpes listening to this story!

• Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : [looking through Blanche's boudier calendar]  Whoa!

  Blanche Devereaux : September?

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Yep!

  Sophia Petrillo : I'm surprised you were able to walk in October.

• Rose Nylund : We could have an old-fashioned Scandinavian Christmas.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Rose, I am not going to drink eggnog while wearing a metal brassiere.

  Rose Nylund : We don't do that at Christmas, Dorothy, we do that at Easter.

• Rose Nylund : Sophia, look out, he has a gun!

  Sophia Petrillo : [steals the gun from Santa]  This is a toy!

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : I don't believe it!

  Sophia Petrillo : Neither do I, you call yourself an Italian and you can't tell the difference between a toy and a real piece?

• Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Where is the Christmas spirit?

  Sophia Petrillo : Neiman Marcus, third floor, ladies apparel.