The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Bedtime Story (1987)

Randy Bennett: Stationmaster

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rose Nylund : Why don't we wait outside on the platform? The train will be along in a few minutes.

  Stationmaster : The 9:15 to Miami left at 8:45.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : How could our train have left a half-hour early?

  Stationmaster : Oh, all the trains out of Appalappichobee leave early. That's what our town's famous for! Now, y'all may think this sounds kinda silly, but we actually printed "Our Trains Leave Early" right on the town seal!

  Rose Nylund : You have a town seal? Can he play a song on those little horns?

  Stationmaster : No, but he can balance a ball on his nose if you throw him a catfish first!

  Blanche Devereaux : This is like a Twilight Zone... somehow we got on a train that ended up inside Rose's mind.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Yeah, uh, when is the next train to Miami?

  Stationmaster : Well, we've got one scheduled to leave at 6 AM tomorrow morning.

  Rose Nylund : Does that mean it'll actually leave at 5:30?

  Stationmaster : Welcome to Appalappichobee!

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : What track does the 9:15 to Miami leave on?

  Stationmaster : Well, Ma'am, we've only got one track, but we call it Track 19. Nobody knows why, but it sure gives everybody something to talk about while they're waiting on the next tornado to hit the mobile home!

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Thank you very much... oh, and please say hello to Opie and Aunt Bee for me when you see them.

• [Dorothy, Blanche and Rose are stranded overnight at a railway station] 

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I don't believe this. I mean this has to be the most depressing day of my life. First Edna McCarthy's funeral now this.

  Blanche Devereaux : Y' know, being at her funeral today made me start thinking about how quiclky life can pass you by. Maybe I oughta do something more adventurous in my life.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : More adventurous! The Kama Sutra had to publish a supplement because of you!

  Blanche Devereaux : I'm not talking about men. I'm talking about things I've always wanted to do but never got around to trying. Dorothy, didn't you have something you wanted to do? Some kind of secret desire you always kept on the back burner?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Mm-hm. I awlays wanted to try a nudist camp.

  Stationmaster : [overhearing]  Some big pots belong on the back burner.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [to stationmaster]  Uh, don't you have a cousin you should be dating?

• Stationmaster : In fact, "Our Trains Run Late" is even on our city seal.

  Rose Nylund : Your city has a seal? Can it play tunes on those little horns?

  Stationmaster : No.

  [pause] 

  Stationmaster : But he can balance a ball on his nose if you throw him a catfish first.

  Blanche Devereaux : [aside to Dorothy]  It's like a "Twilight Zone" episode and we're stuck on a train inside Rose's brain!